I woke up next to Jai. His arms were still wrapped around me tightly, as if he was afraid I would leave him. Looking at his peaceful face, my heart lightened up. He looked so innocent. You wouldn't think he was fucked up.
I pulled away from him, gently moving his hands away from my waist. Sitting up, I stared at him for a bit more. His body was rising and falling, his eyes still shut. Nothing seemed to be bothering him and I wish that was the reality he lived in.
Sighing, I pushed a strand of his hair away from his face. I really liked him. I loved every part of him, even the broken parts I knew he hated. But after yesterday, I had come to a realization.
I wasn't good for Jai. You would think that two people who related so well would be a perfect fit, but it was the opposite for us. Broken pieces of a puzzle can't fit well with together. They could try all they want, but they won't click in a way that'll look right. I knew that was Jai and I.
I liked to think Jai could get better, so I knew I wouldn't be able to help him by dating him. As someone who had no hope, I knew I would only remind Jai of how it was like to be broken. He didn't need that. No one did. So even though I would stay at his side as a friend, I would never try for anything more. Even if my heart yearned for it, I knew it was for the best for Jai.
He stirred suddenly and I moved away from him, not wanting him to know I had been staring at him for the past ten minutes. As he stretched out his body and revealed some his his smooth, flat stomach, I looked away. I wished my heart would stop hammering at the sight of him.
"Good morning, Scarlett," Jai said.
I felt the bed shift and I knew he was sitting up. Looking at him, I smiled as I noticed he was smiling at me already.
"Good morning," I said.
"I hate to ask this again, but did I wake up at any time during the night?" he asked.
"No." I frowned. "Why do you always wonder that?"
Jai looked down, seeming uncomfortable. Staring at him, I knew it was something personal. Something I would have to wait to hear about. By now I didn't mind waiting.
Jai suddenly looked back up at me. His eyes had softened up and I stared back, seeing the raw emotion he rarely showed in them. My heart warmed up as I realized it was getting easier for him to open up.
"I don't sleep well," Jai said. "I get nightmares and they leave me gasping for breath in the middle of the night."
My eyes widened. Jai seemed embarrassed and I didn't want to pity him, but my heart ached for him. Sleep was so important and I couldn't imagine not having enough of it.
"Does anything stop the nightmares?" I asked, hoping there was.
"You it seems." He smiled suddenly - a bright, real one. "You seem to kill the demons in me."
Staring at him smiling, my heart melted. I was more than happy to know I helped him. Especially because he helped me so much. As friends, we fit great. But with romance, I thought the emotions would be too overwhelming. I kept trying to convince myself of that as I stared at him.
"Well, call me anytime you have a nightmare," I said, only half-joking. "I'll be glad to help."
Jai slid closer to me and we were suddenly right next to each other. His face was near mine and I was reminded of the position we were in before his dad interrupted. What was that about, I wondered.
"You're always a huge help." Jai wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," I mumbled against his chest.
His body was surprisingly warm for once. I found myself burning up from it, but I didn't mind it. It felt safe and secure and I wished I didn't have to leave his embrace. Sadly, I did.
I pulled away from Jai and said, "I should go home now."
"Wait," Jai suddenly said, eyes widening. "I was too worried about myself that I forgot to ask you about you. What happened? I know something happened at home so you came over here."
"Don't worry," I said, looking away. "I'll fix it."
"Should I come home with you? Let me help."
I didn't know what compelled me, but I suddenly put a hand on his shoulder gently. Moving in on him, I quickly kiss his cheek. As I pulled back, I saw him blushing and I did too, wondering why I became so bold.
"You've helped me enough times," I said, smiling sadly. "This is a battle I should fight."
Jai smiled and I smiled back. His eyes softened up and even though he looked uncertain, he nodded.
"Okay," he said. "But if anything happens come here. I'll be here."
My heart lightened up. "I will."
*****
I opened the door to my house and took a deep breath in, preparing myself for the wrath of my parents. Stepping inside, I was surprise to hear silence. Even as I shut the door, silence was all I could hear. That was strange.
I walked over to the stairs and looked over at the living room. My eyes widened as I spotted my parents there. They were sitting on the couch with newspapers in their hands. My heart dropped as I noticed they were staring at me.
We stared at each other, not saying anything for a bit. Those were the scariest seconds of my life because my parents were never quiet. They usually screamed and thrashed and this silence has me anticipating that. Sweat even began to form on my forehead as I waited.
Finally, my mom said, "What are you looking at?"
I was surprised, but I hid it. That wasn't what I expected them to say.
"Sorry," I simply said, hands squeezing the railing as I waited for them to explode.
"Why are you just standing there?" my dad then asked, scowling. "Go to your room. We don't want you here."
I relaxed at that. Every bit of fear and anxiety I had rushed away. My parents should have been mad. Furious for sure because I hadn't been home for an entire day. Thank god they seemed to be pretending nothing happened.
As I walked up the stairs, I thought about how sketchy this was. My parents weren't the type to forget about my mistakes. They were the type to use it against me and let their anger out. Seeing they weren't doing that, I knew this was too good to be true. Especially when they I had believed things were normal and then they had advanced on me suddenly yesterday.
I went into my room and surprisingly, decided to let this be. Honestly, I was exhausted. After a long, hectic, and terrifying week, I just wanted to forget about everything. With them also acting like nothing happened, I knew I could forget for now.
YOU ARE READING
Tell Me A Lie
JugendliteraturScarlett Rose doesn't know what to make out of life. All she knows for now is that she wants out. Out from her abusive parents. Out from the stress of being a teenager. She won't admit that she's depressed, and insists that she's just being realisti...