Tell Me A Lie

Chapter 25

The pain I felt had finally subsided and all I felt was anger. Anger at the only person I valued who dared kiss me and then said he it was a mistake. Even if he didn't know how much a simple kiss could mean to me, it was an asshole move.

I was shoving my book into my locker, wondering where I would hang out during lunch. There was no way I'd hang out with Jai. Not when he had hurt me so much by being such a jerk.

But I had no one else to hang out with. That usually wasn't a problem, but now I knew I would sit alone at lunch. Where was my biggest issue now, because I knew Jai would be at our bench. He was always there first.

As I slammed my locker shut, I suddenly heard someone say, "Easy there, Scarlett."

I turned around quickly, my hair whipping around with me. The last person I wanted to see was now in front of me, and I pressed myself to my locker, wishing to disappear. A stab of pain shot through my heart and I realized that maybe, the pain hadn't disappeared.

"What?" I asked flatly, wondering why he was here.

If he regretted the kiss so much, he shouldn't even be able to look at me. Much less approach me first with his eyes glowing, seeming as if nothing happened.

"Scarlettt..." Jai began, eyes softening. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I forced a smile at his stupid question. "Nothing at all."

Jai stared at me for a second and his eyes now looked sad. Regret filled them and another stab of pain shot through me, knowing he was regretting the kiss again.

"Look... Scarlett." Jai sounded nervous and my body tensed. "About yesterday."

I didn't want to hear his apologies. I didn't want to hear his excuses. So shaking my head, I wished he'd stop before I got hurt again.

"Like you said, let's forget about it," I said, eyes hardening as they locked on his. "Let's pretend it never happened."

"Scarlettt, I-"

"It was a mistake." I sighed. "We both made a mistake."

He looked taken aback by my words for a mere second, and then he recovered as he stared at me with sad eyes. I looked away as my heart dropped, knowing I truly didn't regret kissing him, even if he did. Everything I felt in that moment was everything I had always wanted to feel with Jai, yet he regretted it. The thought was almost unbearable.

"Okay," Jai said, forcing a smile. "So everything is okay between us?"

I forced a smile as well. "Perfectly fine."

Jai nodded. "Let's eat lunch then."

He turned around and began to walk off, glancing back for a second to see if I was coming. Knowing I couldn't let this ruin my friendship with him, I began to walk after him. With my head held low, I told myself to suck up my feelings.

Before I knew it we were sitting on our bench. I was eating and he was smoking, which was the usual. The overwhelming feelings of hurt was not the usual however. Especially because I was hurt over Jai.

All this time I thought I was protecting him. I thought I was hiding my feelings because Jai deserved better than me and to become happier, he should be with someone who had better life views. But truth be told, all this time I was trying to protect myself.

Throughout my life, I had felt enough pain. From everyone in my life, all I had felt was pain. And that was expected in relationships. Tears, fights, and pain was all expected when you were in love. It was normal and a part of any relationship, but I didn't think I could handle it. I didn't think I could handle anymore pain when I had felt enough of it.

I put my sandwich down because I didn't have an appetite anymore. With my throat constricted with sadness, I could barely breathe. Everyone in my life thought of me as a mistake and now that Jai did too, every part of me hurt. It hurt so much and I was trying so hard to fight back my sadness.

Knowing sitting beside the person who hurt me was making it worse, I got up suddenly. I didn't want to be near him. I didn't want to be at school. So without a second thought, I ran off and headed home.

*****

I was panting as I stepped into my house. My heart was pounding and suddenly, I remembered my parents existed. Going to the staircase, I hoped they weren't home because they were really against skipping class. For what reason, I didn't know.

Going to my bedroom, I let out a relieved breath as I noticed the house was silent. I walked over to my bed and fell back, now lying face up on it. My backpack lay at my feet and my hair was a mess around me, but I didn't care as I closed my eyes and tried to forget about everything and everyone who thought I was a mistake.

"What are you doing here?" I heard a man roar.

I sat up quickly and my eyes flew to the door, seeing my dad standing there. His eyes were filled with rage as he stared at me and behind him, I saw my mom looking annoyed. This was definitely not good.

"I said, what are you doing here!" he roared, stepping inside my room.

As my mom followed him inside, I said nervously, "I didn't feel well so I came home."

"Who gave you permission to go home?" he snapped, walking up to me. "Who the hell said you can come home when you're sick."

He looked so mad and I knew I should be scared, but I wasn't. For the first time, a rage began to fill me as well. This was such a horrible day and I didn't need my parents yelling at me. I didn't need it when going home without their permission was not my fault. It was theirs.

"How am I supposed to ask for permission if you took my phone plan away," I shot back, eyes hardening. "And why the fuck should I even ask you guys for permission. You don't even act like parents, so why do you get that power?"

My mom looked surprised by my sudden outburst, and so was I. I had never defended myself because I knew it was pointless, which proven to be true now as my dad's eyes hardened. They turned scarily cold and I gulped, knowing I fucked up.

"Did you just talk back to me?" my dad asked, his voice scarily quiet.

I didn't say anything. I just stared at the man who now had a vein throbbing on his forehead.

"Did you just fucking talk back to me!" he screamed, causing me to jump.

He quickly walked to me and before I could even react, his hand was suddenly flying at me. It landed on my neck and I flew back from the impact. Before I knew it, he was choking me. Gasping, I felt myself losing air.

I began to thrash around as it became hard to breathe. My legs kicked wildly and I clawed at his hand wrapped around my neck, but he seemed unfazed by any of my movements. With eyes filled with hatred, he just glared at me as he kept me pinned down to my bed.

This was how it ends, I thought as I flailed around. With my dad glaring at me and me fighting for my life, I knew this was a pitiful way to die. So I closed my eyes and stopped moving, hoping death would finally take me as part of its family.

"Blake, let go of her!" I heard my mom suddenly shriek.

I felt another hand on my neck and then the choking hand that had been on my neck was gone. My body was shaking and I didn't want to open my eyes as air rushed into me, but I knew I should. I wondered what happened.

Opening my eyes, I saw my mom crying. She had tears steaming down her face, ruining her makeup as she glared at my dad. He looked furious as he glared at her, and before I knew it he was dragging her out of the room. My eyes widened, wondering if that was because of me.

Now sitting up, what happened fully hit me. My dad had tried to choke me. He had tried to maybe kill me, which I should have known he would do. But the fact that I had been so scared - so helpless, terrified me. It made me feel weak and I knew my existence was a mistake. I shouldn't be here and suddenly, I wished he had finished his job. I wished death had taken me.