Tell Me A Lie

Chapter 13

     I didn't know why or how but Jared's words gave me the smallest bit of hope. It was so small that I could extinguish it easily, but I chose not to. For once, I decided to believe in something. Something, that turned out to be my future. 

      I loved art and everything it represented. It was beautiful, scary, and real. Real like my painting. Real like my feelings yesterday that day. When Jared told me I had a talent, he didn't understand how much those words meant to me. As someone who was known to be useless, those words were permanently stitched into my heart.

      Jai and I were walking by the school to our favourite bench. We were walking in silence and I couldn't help but smile at the thoughts I was having. It was odd, but for the first time ever my heart felt almost light.

      "Why are you smiling?" Jai asked suddenly, glancing at me.

      "I don't know." My smile turned into a grin. "I'm... In a good mood."

      Jai suddenly stopped in his place. "That's a first."

      I stopped walking as well and I turned to face him. He looked confused and there was something in the way he looked at me that was indescribable. I would almost say he looked nervous.

       "Why are you in a good mood?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

       "I was talking to Jared and-"

       "Jared again?" Jai frowned. "Why is it always him?"

      My eyebrows raised at the question, but I told myself not to think any further. One of the things I realized the day my dad wrecked my room was that Jai was the last thing I valued. I couldn't let anything happen to what we had. I couldn't wonder, especially if that meant keeping him at my side.

      "Yeah, he told me I could be an artist one day," I said, smiling without realizing it. "It meant a lot."

       "Didn't I ever tell you that?" Jai suddenly asked.

       "No." I frowned. "But it's not like I ever showed you my art."

       "Why don't you? Can I see your painting?"

       I flushed because to my surprise, I didn't want to. Obviously Jai was my best friend and I trusted him, but the painting was personal. And unlike Jared, I didn't think Jai would understand the painting. He would probably think it was ugly, and that would definitely crush the small bit of hope I had.

       "Um... It's personal." My face turned red. "Sorry."

       "But you allowed Jared to see it." I could hear the hurt in his voice. "Why not me?"

      "Jai... It's... Not that simple."

      Jai looked truly hurt and that hurt me. My hand couldn't help but reach out for him, wanting to comfort him. But, it didn't reach him in time.

       "Honestly Scarlett, what does Jared mean to you?" Jai asked, voice raising. "If you two are dating then you can just tell me. I don't know why you're hiding it."

      My eyes widened. I couldn't believe it. Jai thought I was dating Jared. Did he even know me?

      "I'm not dating Jared," I said, sounding defensive. "He's just..."

      "What?" Jai snapped. "My replacement?"

       My eyes were bulging out of their sockets as I just stared at Jai. He looked annoyed and Jai never got annoyed. It almost hurt to see him looking at me like that, but I also felt annoyed myself. Jai needed to relax.

       "Why are you so jealous?" I asked, scowling. "Why are you so intimidated by Jared?" 

      "I'm not!" he exclaimed, but the reddening of his cheeks was evident. "It's just..."

      "What?" I asked, frustrated. "What is it Jai?"

      Frustrated himself, he ran his finger through his brown hair hastily. Then looking at me, his eyes seemed to harden. Before I knew it he stepped forward and grabbed both of my arms gently. He pushed me back and my back was now pressed against the brick wall of the school. My cheeks flushed as Jai stood in front of me, staring right into my eyes. I was too stunned by the sudden action to speak.

       "I'm such a complicated person," Jai suddenly whispered. "You don't understand."

       His eyes had softened up now and they just stared at me sadly. I stared back with my heart pounding, wondering what was going on.

      "How can I understand if you don't open up to me," I whispered back, speaking the truth.

       Honestly, it hurt knowing Jai wouldn't open up to me. He was my best friend - my only friend actually. The last thing I valued was him, yet he was acting so strange and he wouldn't talk to me in a way that would only make our friendship stronger. It hurt.

       "Scarlett, how could I open up to you when I'm not the only guy in the picture," he whispered back, sliding his hands down my arms to my hands, now holding them.

      I shivered at the touch and I tried to put it off that it was because his hands were cold, but I knew better. My pounding heart said so too.

       "Jai, you can't be telling me to pick between you and Jared." My eyes softened as I noticed how hopeful he looked. "I can't."

      "You told me I was special. You told me I was the only guy you didn't hate."

      "You are," I said, noticing how vulnerable he looked. "Jai, there's no need to be jealous. You mean so-"

      Jai suddenly closed his eyes, so I paused. Staring at him, I saw how vulnerable he looked. His body was tense and his face was pale. His eyes had expressed such pain and I wanted him to really talk to me. I wanted to hear his reasons for being fucked up. Jai and I rarely spoke about these things, but I knew we should. He was right about that, but it applied for the both of us.

      "Jai, just talk to me," I said - almost pleadingly. "You need to talk to someone."

       Jai opened his eyes and suddenly, he was bringing his face closer to my own. His hands squeezed mine as if they were scared I would run off, and my eyes widened. As Jai slowly closed his eyes and his face closed off inches between us, my heart felt like it would explode.

       I couldn't think as Jai's mouth neared mine. I couldn't move as his body covered my own. But right as his lips were an inch away from my own, Jai quickly moved his head to the side and to my ear. To my surprise, disappointment flooded into me.

      "Scarlett, you have to understand that I will never talk to you about my life," he whispered into my ear. "I will never so stop asking."

      My heart dropped and Jai moved away from me quickly. He dropped my hands and he turned around and stormed off. With my back still pressed against the wall and my heart pounding, I watched him leave. A mixture of hurt and disappointment swirled around in my gut, and I felt frustrated with him. I even felt frustrated with myself because I knew people weren't simple creatures. They were confusing and hard to understand, and I let one become something I treasured. I wondered if I made was mistake.