She Is Home To You, But Everything To Me

Loneliness

Okay, I don't know what triggered me to do it. But I did.

I hurt myself.

I was feeling pain. And I didn't know what to do.

I now have cuts on my wrists. And I've been hiding it for a few days.

I did it because of Corey.

I felt alone.

Corey had once promised me that he'll always be there for me.

Corey doesn't know that I'm slowly falling into a state of depression.

And he never will.

I sighed and got out of bed.

Today was my birthday.

And no one has mentioned anything about it.

Paul had came in here to tell me that everyone was going to the store and told me I should come.

So, I quickly threw on some yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt.

My outfit was all black.

I'm not that big on standing out anymore.

I don't wear Slipknot shirts anymore, because I don't listen to them anymore.
I've grown to hate Corey's voice.

I quickly ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth.

I didn't really care for looks anymore either.

I'm ugly.

So why should I even try to seem pretty?

I glanced up at the mirror and quickly looked away.

I couldn't even look at myself.

I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my phone and earbuds and walked downstairs.

We all got in the car.

Sadly, I was stuck next to Corey.

He didn't seem to be the only one who was uncomfortable sitting there. I too felt that.

We lost that special connection.

Stephanie has been moving her stuff into the house for the past few days.

I ignore her.

I hate her.

Me and Corey avoid each other now.

Honestly, it sucks.

It's awkward between us.

When Corey came and sat next to me, I turned away from him.

I think I heard him sigh.

But I shrugged it off and put in my earbuds.

I started playing 'Blood' by In This Moment.

I can always rely on Maria Brink to calm me down.

It looked like Corey wanted to say something to me. But I ignored him.

If he doesn't pay attention to me, I won't pay any attention to him.

We arrived at the store, and everyone got out.

We barely have anything to eat back at the house.

I mean, food runs out fast when your living with nine people.

Wait-

Ten people. Since Stephanie is moving in.

My jaw clenched at the thought.

I mean, I wasn't waisting any food.

Because I stopped eating.

When we were in the store, I felt like Craig was watching me.

But I ignored it, and followed the group.

Once we were done getting groceries, we walked back towards the car.

Craig and I started loading the car while everyone else got in their seats.

Once we were done, I reached up to shut the door.

But I shouldn't have.

When I did, Craig gasped.

I looked at him, and then to where he was looking and...

My cuts were showing.