He Played Me A Song |Gerard Way|

Chapter 8: Life isn't fair.

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Previously in House of Gold,

"Goodbye dork." I said playfully.
"Goodbye dorkette." He sang.

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Date: 18 May 2012
Dear Diary,
I haven't been feeling well. I've been getting headaches and fevers. Grandma said I've lost too much weight. Sometimes I keep on having nose bleeds non stop. My stomach hurts real bad once and a while.

"Honey are you ready?" My grandma called from downstairs. Today we were gonna go to the hospital to see what's wrong. When I was about to move, I screamed in pain and fell to the ground. My vision started going blurry and I couldn't move. I saw Frank's figure run in.

"GRAN- HEL- HAZ-" I couldn't make out what he was saying as he held onto me. I gave into unconsciousness.

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I woke up to a bright light shinning at me. I blinked a couple of times before realising where I was. I was in a hospital bed. I turnt to my left to see a sad Frank. His cheeks were tear stained. I looked at him with confusion. Why was he crying?

"You're not leaving us.. Don't leave me.." He started sobbing and held my hand tight.

"What happened?"

"I-I can't tell you. Grandma wants to tell you.. Just don't g-give up." He stuttered. What was wrong with me?

He went to go and get grandma to tell her I was awake. A few minutes later, they both came in. Frank was still crying whlist my grandma had tears brimming in her eyes. Frank sat next to the bed again as grandma sat at the edge of the bed.

"Hazel, you need to listen to me. Promise you'll be strong and beat this okay? Don't give in to the pain, you must fight this!" She said. I nodded.

"You.." She took a deep breath. "Hazel, you have cancer. It has also effected your ovaries. There's a chance from one in million that you'll be able to have kids if you survive."

'If you survive.' If. That was the only thing going through my mind. I fell into a breakdown. I start crying. I'm too young. I can't have kids. I've always wanted to be a mother. I can die. I'm 12.

"This isn't fair.." I mumble. They just stared at me. I hated when people did that! 

"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" I scream with tears pouring down. 

They both left as I picked up the flower pot next to me and threw it at the wall. It smashed. I didn't care. I'm weak, I'll probably die. I started to scream in frustration.

The doctor injected something in me, causing me to slowly fall asleep.

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The whole weekend I didn't leave my room. Life isn't fair.

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I got up to go to school. I still had to go. I got dressed in a black dress with a white collar. I went downstairs and didn't bother to eat, I just hopped in the car. Why eat? I'm probably gonna die any way.

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Grandma dropped us off and Frank kept on holding my hand. I needed him. This was hard, knowing i'm so close to death. He took me to my class and told my teacher when no one else was in the room. Frank gave me a huge hug and left.

"Okay, Hazel. If anything hurts, tell me." I nod and sit at my desk. Ava, Pattycakes, Jo Jo, Ty and Geebear were all in my class. Great.

The bell went and I ignored my friends stares at me. They were probably wondering why I didn't call them in the weekend. I felt my stomach hurt again. I couldn't move. I put my hand up.

"Yes Hazel?"

"It hurts." I say shakily. Everyone looks at me with confusion.

"Can you move?"

"N-no."

She calls someone from the class phone. The whole class just stares at me. Moments later Frank came rushing in. He picks me up bridal style.

"I knew this was a bad idea." He says and starts to walk out the classroom. I look pass his shoulder to see Gerard with tears in his eyes.

'Don't cry' I mouth. He's probably worried sick about me. He doesn't even know what's wrong. Frank takes me to the nurses office.

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I just stayed there for the rest of the day. When the home bell rang, I sat under a tree and silently cryed.

Life isn't fair.

I felt arms wrap around me and move me in their lap. I looked up to see Gerard.

"I'm gonna die, Gerard." I shake. I start crying again and turn to face him. He looked shocked.

"I have cancer." I whisper. He shakes his head.

"N-no you don't. Stop this joke. It's not funny!" He states.

"I'm not joking. I have cancer. I'm so close to death. If I survive, I won't be able to have kids."

He just starts crying into my shoulder as he hugs me. I stroke his hair. He clutches me and doesn't let go. We just sit there crying. 

Soon the others found us and Gerard told them. We all cryed. They knew it would be harder for me and Gee. So when they left, they said they would stay with me through the whole thing.

Gerard just rested his head on my shoulder. I kissed his forehead and leaned my head on his. Donna and grandma found us. Grandma must've told Donna before, because Donna looked like she was crying. I didn't want Gerard to leave me.

"Can Gerard come with me tomorrow for treatment?" I ask them. Donna smiles sadly and nods. Donna said he could stay at our house for a couple of days with me, since treatment meant no school. Gerard wanted to stay with me.

He sat next to me in the car as Frank couldn't look at us. I HAVE CANCER AND IS DYING! FRANK STILL HATES GERARD WHEN I NEED BOTH OF THEM! I couldn't believe him.

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It was night time and Gerard was gonna sleep with me. I needed him. He was such a great friend. I curled up next to him as he sang a song. It was a song I heard him and Tyler singing once.

"Did you know, I've written to songs for you?" He whispered. "One with Tyler and Josh. One by myself."

"When can I hear them?"

"Soon."

Life isn't fair.

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Don't hate me. I cried writing this.

~Dino