dear ryan

december 31 , 2015

And a year ago today we were together.

And we spent those last few minutes of the year with each other.

And all the time after that.

And I thought that we could have that again this year.

Wouldn't that be grand?

I mean I guess not to you.

But to me it would be the best way to celebrate New Years.

And at midnight tonight.

I'll look up at the sky.

And maybe you'll be doing the same.

And I'll make my resolutions.

And I'll make my wishes.

This year has to be okay.

It has to be just okay.

I just can't imagine that this might be a year that I don't spend with you.

And to me that's absolutely gut wrenching.

I don't even know what to say anymore.

Maybe I'll actually hear from you tonight.

Maybe.

I love you.

I still love you.

I'll always love you.

Promise.