dear ryan

february 17 , 2016

The irony of this day is huge.

Today marks 258 days of me being clean.

That number is where I was last time I relapsed.

And I didn't even think I would make it here again.

But today also marks two months since the last time we talked.

Not since the break up.

And hat means that today would be when you would talk to me again.

But I think we all know it's not gonna happen.

How fucking ironic.

Who would've thought this could be the best of days, and also one of the worst.

Maybe I won't get past 258 again.

But I promised.

And so did you.

And it looks like we both might break those promises.