I Killed My Mother

Chapter 31

Thursday, 2015/02/17, 07:48
Dan's house...California

I calmly stood up from my seat and looked Wendy in the eye. "I'm sorry you think that way. To keep the peace, I'll be out of your hair now," my voice was flat and I walked to the front door, Christian following me behind.

"What now?" He asked.

"I honestly don't know," I replied as we both go into the car. "I think I should plan Jessica's funeral. It's probably gonna be just us friends. I don't know anything about her family."

"No. I meant with you and me. But it's okay. You don't have to answer that. You clearly have other things to worry about."

"Oh. Um. I don't think I can focus on 'us' right now. Like you said, there is just too much going on."

"That's cool. I understand. So where are we heading?"

I thought carefully about this. I didn't really know what to do. "Maybe the morgue?"

"Sure."

When we got to the morgue, we were.directed through to what seems like the front desk.

"Hi. We are looking for the body of Jessica Knowsley," I said to the woman on the front. She typed into her computer and her face fell.
"I'm sorry ma'am. The body is scheduled in for cremation tomorrow. It won't be possible for you to see her."

"What? It's only been a day."

"Yes but no immediate family was found. Her name didn't even come up on all the databases throughout the states. It's as if she didn't exist," I woman informed.

"I'm her immediate family for fucks sake. Why wasn't I called?" I was starting to tear up now. I know it wasn't fair of me to snap at the lady because she couldn't help that I'm not actually related to Jessica.

"Oh. I'm sorry ma'am. Are you her sister?"

I was sobbing now.

"No. Thank you for your time. We'll head out," I heard Christian say.

"Why? Why me. The only real family I had was snatched from my hands. How did it all come to this?"

"Sshh. It's gonna be okay sweetheart," he cooed in my ear, trying to comfort me.

"You don't know that Christian! You don't. And it's not going to be okay. My bestfriend is dead now because of me. And I can't even say a proper goodbye. Do you know what that feels like?" There were a few stares at us now, but I didn't care anymore.

"No. No I-"

"Do you!? Do you fucking know? Do you know what it feels like to watch your mother dead on the floor and touch her corps trying to get her to breathe again. Not being able to take back the ugly words you said to her just two hours before she was gone. Have you any idea what it feels like to be locked up in a mental institution for something you now know you didn't do? Christian it's shit. I'm telling you now. Walk away before I drag you down into whatever pit of sorrow I'm headed for. Please.

"I have never felt like this in all my life Christian. So stupid. Betrayed. Hurt. Angry. Fucked over. I don't like this feeling. Please stop it."

What? I just told him to stay away from me but now I'm asking him to do the impossible...make me feel happy again.

"No. I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes right now. But I do know what it's like to see you mother dead. All the colour just draining from her face. And I understand what you felt then. 'Why my mom? There is plenty out there to choose from, so why mine?' You know what I mean?" His eyes were starting to get blurry now.

"What?"

"Yes. I watched my mom die Kate. It's a horrible thing to do. I wouldn't wish it upon Hitler himself. But promise me one thing. You won't do what I did- beating yourself up about something you have no control over for years okay? Sometimes we just have to move on with life," he reached for my hands and continued. "And I think you should too. Not now maybe, but soon. Don't live like this. Don't deprive yourself of the happiness you deserve. Promise me that Kate."

"I-I don't know Christian. It's just so hard to move on. Especially now with Jessica not here anymore."

"I'm not saying it will be easy. But promise me you will try."

"Okay. I promise."

"Good," he pulled me to an embrace and I noticed people starting to move away, not staring at us anymore.

"We really should try and stop this thing of attracting a crowd," Christian joked. "Come on. Let's go."

-------------------

Thursday, 2015/02/17, 12:59
Hospital...California

Christian and I have been sitting here for the past hour because we missed the visiting hours. The hour was spent in silence and I appreciated that. Talking wasn't really something I wanted to do right now.

"Miss Johnson. Mr Todd. I informed Mrs Johnson about your present here. She would like to see you," a doctor pulled us from our thoughts.

Eh?

"No. We are here for Miss Saldana."

"Ma'am. Records show that she is indeed a Johnson. But either way, we are talking about the same person. So I suggest you follow me."

We both followed the doctor into and elevater, down the hall, and two doors to the left.

"This is her. I'll leave you three to talk," he smiled and left the room.

"Thank you for coming Kate," Jacky said.

"Yeah well. I need answers," her face fell dramatically and she muttered a low "oh."

"I think I'm gonna go uhh. Go wait in the hall. Yeah?" I waited for Christian to leave the room before I sat down on the chair next to Jacky's bed.

"You know, I found something interesting in Dan's safe. It was the file of my case. Other than the fact that he had it, there was something in there that didn't sit well with me. I'm hoping you'll clear the air."

"Sure."

"Good. You see. It said that you gave a statement saying that on the night of the accident, you were with Dan here in California. Amongst the other things I found in that file, I know that is just a bullshit story because he was in Indiana. I know this because I was supposed to meet him the previous day."

She didn't answer. Instead she fidgeted with her hands, which burnt out my short fuse.

Hey hey.
Okay. I'm positive now that next chapter will be the last chapter.
Thank for readying. I hope you enjoy this dramatic chapter!
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♥