Love and the Sea and Everything in Between

chapter forty-nine

"That took you forever," Liz says as I step outside the dorms.

"There was something I needed to take care of first," I say. She looks down at my hand as I'm holding the sock in it.

"It's a good thing I sent you back in, isn't it," she says with a wink.

I laugh. "It sure is."

"Are you ready?" she asks, wrapping her arms around me.

I look down at her. "Yeah. I am." I pull her to me and I kiss her gently, our lips touching just enough for the electricity to pass between us.

After a minute, she pulls away, looking down. "Adam..." she says, my name rolling off her lips and disappearing into the space between us. "There's something I need to tell you."

She takes my hand in hers as I stare down at her, my confusion now in complete control of my facial features. She leads me down the sidewalk toward the field. We follow the path to the point that's farthest from the school, surrounded, now, by the trees. She turns to face me, slowly bringing her eyes to meet mine as she holds both of my hands.

"I wasn't completely truthful," she says and my heart plummets. There's no anticipating what she says next. I have no idea where she's at or what she's trying to say or why she kept whatever it is from me. "The reason I avoided you all that time was only because of what I told you for the first little while, but then something happened." Her face scrunches up as if she doesn't really know what she's saying – at least, not the weight of it. "I'm pregnant."

As she speaks those words, everything else falls away and I'm left standing here, in front of her. My mouth falls open and for the longest time, I say nothing. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. So I say the first thing that pops into my head, which, in most cases, is a bad idea. "Okay."

"Okay?" She furrows her brow, staring up at me.

I nod. "Okay." I say it firmer now, like I believe it. "Liz, it's no secret that I'm in love with you. I've spent every second of these last four months loving you. Nothing is going to change that. Our situation and circumstances have changed, but my love for you will never change. Whatever hurricane comes our way, Liz, I love you."

She smiles at me, her features reflecting the light of a million suns. "I love you too." Then we kiss and it's like the stars are singing, but that might just be my medication talking. She pulls away, then, and says, "What do we do, now?"

I look down at her stomach, shrouded by the baggie hoodie. I set my hands gently on both sides and I feel the subtle roundness of it. It's not very noticeable yet, but it's there. And now I know why she wears the hoodie and I suddenly really hate that hoodie. (Even more than I did before.) "Don't wear this hoodie anymore," I say.

She raised an eyebrow, parting her lips to speak, but saying nothing.

"You – we – have nothing to be ashamed of. Whether what we did was a mistake or not, it happened and now we have this amazing new life that we get to welcome into this world, but I will not let my son or daughter grow up believing that I let anyone make their mother feel ashamed of her life. There is life inside of you, Liz. Don't hide it. Don't let what other people think quench your thirst for life. Don't ever, ever, ever stop living your life to accommodate another person's phony expectations."

I kiss her, then, because we have nothing to be ashamed of.

This is living.

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