If He Ever Cries (manxman / boyxboy)

Chapter 2

-Chapter 2-

I have nothing left to give

I have found the perfect end

You were made to make it hurt

Disappear into the dirt

—Dear Agony, Breaking Benjamin

The world around him didn't exist. If he could hear anything, it was the one thump of the cellphone when it landed on hardwood. He sat leaning against the wall, on the window seat, staring out the glass in his living room. His eyes were open―but his brain didn't register what he could see.

Darkness seeped in, as twilight rose in the horizon. Marie rubbed her head against the leg that was touching the floor and curled her bushy tail around it, circling about. When the expected rub behind the ears didn't come, she jumped on him and curled into a snow ball on his chest.

There was no will left to do more than rub a finger under her chin. Happiness and bliss―hadn't kicked in yet. He was aware of every heart bit, every puff of air into his lungs, the pain squeezing in from all directions―and somewhere inside him, a scream of anguish that pleaded him to make it stop.

Marie rubbed her head against Kaiden's hand, demanding more of his attention. Kaiden didn't give more, but retracted, pushing her softly off to the floor, where she landed with grace and walked away, meowing in protest. He pressed the side of his forehead against the glass, looking at the city that spread in front of him, but not really looking at it.

He knelt onto the edge of his bed—his body still naked. How many times he had shot? He lost count. Through the viewfinder, his eyes couldn't pull away from the man laying there, his features highlighted by the morning light filtering through the window. He could watch that face for hours without tiring.

The almost prehistoric camera moved away from his face so his bare eyes could devour the body of the man, who was half-uncovered by the bed sheets. He swallowed a groan as he struggled with himself to resist the urge to have his hands all over his lover again. He changed position, looking for a better angle. His left hand adjusted the lens, while the right held the shutter release and a burning cigarette between his fingers.

He shot pictures from every angle, ending up on his belly to take close-ups of the face—and their proximity became a distraction. He removed his face from behind the camera, holding it upright on his right hand. Their distance closed as he licked his own lips and dropped a kiss on his man's cheek, holding back hunger for a full-blown, cock-hardening kiss. Not wanting to wake him up yet—stretching their time together every bit possible.

He swung his head to the side, removing the hair from his face and took a puff of the cigarette before stubbing it out and putting the camera aside. He settled sideways alongside the man that was not too many years older than him, propping his head on his palm. For the millionth time, he scrutinized the man's face, with the freedom given by doors that blocked away the rest of the world.

He loved this man. He had for a long time—longer than he wanted to recognize.

Kaiden's fingers went to the man's chest, where he rested his palm. A smile grew on his face at the feel of the lover's heart beat. He remembered how only a few hours before he lay under this man's body, panting and crying in pleasure—burying his fingers on the man's flesh—begging him for more. This broad chest rubbing against his skin, with the smell of sex invading their nostrils. Their tongues in a sinful dance—making love.