If He Ever Cries (manxman / boyxboy)

Chapter 31

Kaiden didn't feel time pass in the way his mind came in and out of focus. He came back to himself once with the fridge handle in his hold, staring into the cold, and with no memory of what he went there for. He did things without remembering how he did them and got to places not knowing how he got there. He couldn't listen for more than a few seconds and kept asking Eric to repeat what he just said.

"S-sorry. I'm...inside my head," he repeated more times than he cared to admit and cursed when words twisted in his tongue.

He was lost—a stray mutt, driven to the middle of nowhere and abandoned to his luck. Eric understood and didn't push him. He repeated himself every time, with patience, and ushered Kaiden in his haze. His friend hovered and looked after Kaiden without asking what happened.

Kaiden decided to ignore Eric's frown of unease and his voiced suspicion that Kaiden had it in him to jump off the roof if Eric left him alone. Joke tone aside, Kaiden knew Eric worried. But Kaiden wouldn't jump, though he kept staring out the glass from Dr. Lewis' office, sight angled to the white and red of lights from the cars that transited on the avenue.

It was unconscious—his assessment of the height.

Kaiden suspected Eric broke secrecy to use his father's connections and get this appointment on short notice and after office hours. But he couldn't find the anger in himself. He owed so much to his friend. Today, he would show Eric he cared by submitting himself to the scrutiny of a stranger. Tomorrow, he would face his father and ease his mind, so he started now to steel himself before the fitting with the groomsmen.

Eric drove them earlier to Kaiden's apartment. He excused Kaiden with Kristina for the appointment with the florist and harassed Kaiden to send the files to the magazine under Kaiden's protest that they were crap. He made Kaiden shower and freshen up—and chose his clothes for him because Kaiden, in his right mind, wouldn't step out in flip-flops and pajama pants.

Eric was the rock that kept Kaiden from falling apart.

The click of stilettos alerted Kaiden to Dr. Lewis, who extended her hand and greeted him with a firm handshake. "Mr. Taylor?"

He nodded. "Kaiden."

She smiled with warmth. "Welcome, Kaiden." She rounded to her side of the desk and grabbed clipboard and pen from the drawer. "Please take a seat wherever you feel comfortable." She pointed with her palm at the sitting area, where two sofas faced each other, separated by a coffee table. "Can I offer you something to drink? We have coffee, water, berry juice..."

The thought of coffee and berries nauseated him. "Water, please."

When she sat across from him and laid the water bottle and napkin on the table, he tensed. He whispered his thanks and drank all the water in one go. The plastic crinkled in his grip as he proceeded to twist and untwist the cap in repeat.

She observed him from the top of her glasses, between glances at the folder in her clipboard, as he sank further into the sofa. He cringed at all he knew he had checked off and wrote in the forms and soon he'd be telling her all that he refused to write as well. She raised a small smile of understanding. "I know this may be difficult, and I want you to understand that you are the one in control. Ok? You set the pace. I'll ask you questions and you are free to refuse to answer. My secretary explained to you the instances in which I am bound by law to break confidentiality. Do you have any questions about that?"

He shook his head. "I understand," he whispered. She didn't resemble the bitch he had pictured in his head. He wanted to like her, but his apprehension to lay his guts in front of her didn't appeal to him a single bit. Eric's ultimatum rang in Kaiden's ears every time he mentally protested that he didn't want to be here.