If He Ever Cries (manxman / boyxboy)

Chapter 18

-Chapter 18-

And what I say is not a matter of fact

I wish that I could take it all back

But I said that

And I wish I could take it all back

And I need some sympathy here

And I want a love to call my own

I want to take you in the back seat now

And slowly drive you home

—Did I Say That?, Meat Loaf

Terri's fingers snapped too close to Adam's face and he too snapped—back to the present with a jump—and finally looked at her. His eyes, wider than normal with how close her face was to his. The sounds of two men fucking in the other stall ricocheted through his mind. “He's popular with the mature... That will cost you a lot.” The memory was brief and simple, yet it lingered for the longest moment. What other interpretation was there for what they said?

A deep frown that aged him a few years told her to mind his personal space. She sat and folded arms on her chest with the look I've-seen-you-piss-your-pants-little-brat. She couldn't possibly understand. Not without living through it. She wasn't there. She didn't see all that he saw, or heard what he heard. Laser vision didn't work here. Still, her reasoning floated around his head.

Sometimes he got it, like it was the most logical thing in the world. And he'd say to himself that, maybe, the two men in the stall could be talking about someone else. They didn't mention a name, and Adam didn't stay at the bar long enough to see Kaiden finish his dance. Or they were, like the dirty dogs they showed to be, just voicing out a fantasy of their own.

His mouth opened a sliver, with the beginnings of the words that formed in his mouth. Words that were difficult to voice out—and hard to swallow.

What if he doesn't sell sex? What if...I committed an injustice?

The possibility poked at his chest. Like a guilt and a hurt mixed together. He chose to think his way out of those feelings, and he did successfully for brief moments. All things that were said, all things he remembered, he laid out to strengthen his defense case. In his mind, the skillful dancer peeled off piece after piece of clothing, swaying the right way to have all those men on edge, to drive them crazy. Every single one in the crowd salivating like beasts, lusting to be on him and in him. Crouching and ready to pounce if the beautiful creature got close enough.

But wasn't Adam the same? Didn't he feel it too, strong in his core like it was in his nature? And then he was the one walking out the club hand-in-hand with the young man, having made a juicy offer no slut could resist. “I'm sorry, but business is closed tonight...” And the poke came back every time. No matter how well he convinced himself that his logic held strong and solid, when in reality it was a colander with no more holes that could fit.

He wouldn't just give in anyway.

“I don't remember. It's been a month. You can't expect me to remember every little detail.”

She arched an eyebrow and pursed her lips. Nodded a bit. “True.” Propped her face on index finger and thumb. “But if you had asked him directly, you'd remember his answer for sure.”

He sighed heavy at her and averted his gaze. Keep rubbing that in my face. “Why wouldn't he say anything, then?” It doesn't make any sense. “If he wasn't like that, why didn't he say so from the start?”