If He Ever Cries (manxman / boyxboy)

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

“There's a moment

We all come to

In our own time and

Our own space

Where all that we've done

We can undo

If our heart's

In the right place.”

When You Come Back To Me Again, GARTH BROOKS

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Kaiden's instincts waited for the lie to show its tail. Fists clenched inside his jacket pockets. Nerves pulled and tightened for the jack-in-the-box to spring any second and show him the joke with its grotesque clown smile. And even then, the transparent sincerity in Adam's eyes pulled Kaiden's frantic heart out of his chest.

He was the only thing that existed, and yet, he was impossible at all.

Kaiden was stillness on the outside. Slow, deep frown. Set jaw. Piercing eyes. Inside, every thought floated in silent suspension.

There were no such things as suffering or pain in those seconds. Just wild heartbeats in his chest, liquid fear in his veins. Just him and Adam...and his words that spiraled, red and opalescent in the breeze around them, about to undo the resolve in his legs to hold onto the floor when all he wanted was to jump the man and hug him with arms and legs...to kiss his soul away. To take him home and make love until he ran out of himself.

If you ask me now, I'll do it. I'll give you everything. Even if from Adam's side there was only like.

Or a lie.

But he knew he couldn't let that happen. Not without knowing...

"I hate this." The sigh dragged broken as Kaiden's face turned away, pinched with the overwhelming need to hold back tears...of sadness or bliss, he didn't know anymore. His feelings jumbled up together, he couldn't tell which was which. One second he was in hell, the next he was in heaven.

He crossed arms over his chest and lowered his face to the heel of his hand.

God, I asked you to end my life. And you just wouldn't fulminate me with a thunder. No, it has to be a slow walk on a tightrope over a pit of fire.

He stood upright and sighed. Squared shoulders. He dropped a single chuckle, humorless or otherwise, didn't matter. Fucking smooth talker. You are lame at answering prayers for being the Almighty. I don't want to talk to you anymore.

But it did feel somewhat like an answer to the unvoiced prayer--I need someone who loves me back--the one that he made back in the hotel room, and had been making since he let Daniel sweep him off his feet.

He lifted serious eyes to Adam. This couldn't be it, could it? Only another illusion that came when he most needed it, and would vanish when it fulfilled its fleeting lifespan. A beautiful illusion that he wouldn't survive.

A look into Adam's eyes fed hope that this wasn't just a cruel fluke of attraction. His gaze resonated a determination and a conviction that could break Kaiden's loose grip on reason. "I like you...a lot." He shook his head in short movements as he looked away. You said it twice, man. Really? And he couldn't hold the small smile that cracked steady from between his lips.