The Feelings

Depression Eats You (chp3)

That is Ethan. He is played by Lucky B. Smith
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I made it to my room and the stares of other students unnerved me. But before I reached my seat I heard the sound of Mr.Cane's voice "why are you late Mr.Ricotta", he asked in a nasal like voice. His bald head shined as he gave me a hard stare. "Uh I don't know", I replied stupidly.

And that is how I landed myself into detention.

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After the excruciating first period I looked forward to second period with Robin. And the same as yesterday I saw both Robin and Tony kissing. But it was less passionate and more lustful this time. He kept roaming her body and I saw students cringing with disgust as they past them.

This wasn't like Robin. She gave a nice short kiss then they go on their separate ways.

But then I noticed that Tony was acting different. He was more possessive. I saw that Robin had enough and was trying to get him off of her. I was going to help but she managed fine by herself as she successfully pushed him off of her. "Enough", she sputters breathlessly. "Cmon babe", he cooed. Softly brushing his hand over her shoulder.

Even though they were in a crowded hallway Robin seemed to be stuck in Tony's eyes. Not the 'do I love him or not' kind of way but the type that was fighting for control kind of way. Robin trembled as Tony's eyes darkened. Robin just gently pushed him of the way and headed to the girls bathroom. I waited by the door not caring if I was late. After about a good ten minutes the door creaked open and revealed a optimistic Robin.

"Did you take a shit that was the size of Mars or something",I joked. Robin curved her lips "maybe,", she said vaguely. I smiled and walked with her to English. Her black Timberlands were untied. She noticed and stopped. She sighed and she bent down but while she did that what Leena said suddenly got to me.

Look where the victim relives the pain.
But gains nothing but an addiction.

I let out a quivering sigh. "Hey Rob, lemme do it", she smiled and shrugged and held out her foot. I bent down and started to tie her shoes but I looked up just for a second through her long loose sleeve plaid shirt. And what I saw made my heart ache in pain.

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Robin

He was acting weird. Weirder than usual. His platinum blonde hair was flopping over his eyes as he kept on messing up. He couldn't tie my shoes. His hands kept trembling. Did he see them.

Those big long cuts that trailed my arms. I didn't like it but it was addicting. Waking up in the middle of the night since I can't sleep. Thinking why I did this to myself. Scar my skin and hide it. I didn't want Ethan to find out. I didn't want his eyes filled with pity as he stared at me. I didn't want him to look in my eyes and kiss my scars and say everything was going to be alright like in those sappy love stories. Because I was succumbing to something, I didn't what or who but it felt like a ongoing battle.

Although I wanted to tell him about it, I couldn't. I really couldn't because my depression was wrapping a hand around my mouth and softly shushing me. Beckoning me to go to the darkness for comfort. The blades. The tears. The drugs. But eventually the depression goes on for the big blow.

Suicide.

But I wasn't going to succumb. Well. I didn't want to. But of course depression came and gave me a hug and whispered things.

It'll be okay.
You need me.
I'm always here.
Don't fear.

The darkness ate the light but a little was left. Like a flashlight. Ethan was my flashlight and he kept me going. His beautiful blue eyes looked up at me. 

My flashlight.

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Hoped you liked it, and vote if you did. Comment if I need to improve/ add anything or what you liked about the story. ((: