I'm hurting

I am not perfect

I can never be perfect

No matter how hard I try I will never be who I want to be

I will always be the emo girl in my family

The fatty to my cousins

The ugly sister

The stupid girl

The creepy child that no one should love

But I can't do anything about it

I try to be good

I try to eat less even though I only weigh 104 lbs.

I try dressing so I look good

I study so I won't be dumb

But it's never enough

I sometimes cry myself to sleep

Thinking about how happy my dad is

He left and I'm stuck here to be the target

He is happy

And I want to cut, but I stop myself before I start

I just want to be told by someone

That what they say isn't true

Or when your 18 life will be better

But no one wants to help me

I just need a friend to be there for me

A person to talk to

Anyone at all

I may seem like the happiest person

But in reality I'm slowly dying on the inside

I think if I hurt myself things will get better

But I know I should because I can't put myself to do that

I just feel so alone like everyone is so much better off without me

Why can't they see those words hurt me deeply

I just want to let my sadness go here

It's better than having my family know

I feel like this is my one places I can put my feelings at

And no judgement will be here for me