I'm hurting

It's back

He urge is back I haven't had the feeling to in a while, but now I feel it stronger. I can't trust myself with sharp onjects by myself. I feel like I'm going to break and just cut, but I have to stay strong. I want this urge to just leave I was finally happier, but now I want to hurt myself. Why does life have to make me feel like this.

Now all I think about is what it feels like to cut. Will I feel happy or mad at myself. I dot want to find out, but I feel like I should. I don't want to cry as I wrote this, but I think I should. I don't want this stupid urge to fallow me anymore. Why can't it let me be happy and leave me alone. It would make me happier, but life isn't all rainbows and unicorns all the time.

I just hope I can survive the urge as long as I need to. I try distracting myself, but it's not working. And my mind is starting to hate me I have no idea why. I just keep hearing it tell me to do it. To cut and then I won't be as worthless as I think I am, but it's just getting harder.