Under the Moonlight

Chapter 45

After I left Jack alone I took my motorbike and started driving around. I was driving like crazy. A lot of was going around my mind. I was pregnant. I was having baby in my stomach and that was driving me crazy. I was feeling bad as hell. I was having that strange feeling of not knowing what to do. I wanted just to disappear and not be part in everything that was happening.
Having a child in my situation was so complicated. I never liked babies, I didn't like them, but also didn't hate them. I always wanted to have children but after I became werewolf that changed. I knew that my kid was going to be a werewolf and I said to myself that I am never going to have one. I didn't care I just wanted to live the life I was having and not make some serious mess in it. The pregnancy was pretty big mess for me and I didn't want. I was sure in it, I decided not to have that kid.

I was driving around for around two hours. I didn't want to get back. I wasn't ready to face everyone. I needed more time to be alone and think good about everything.
Suddenly in front of me showed up a few werewolves. I knew them. They were in Hades's pack too.
"You are on my way" I said to them when I stopped driving.
"Hades said to find you and bring you to him" one of them said and I just chuckled.
"Say him I'll come in a while" I said to them.
"He wants to see you now" he said and I just rolled my eyes. Typical for Hades.
"Alright I'll come" I said.
I continued driving and they followed me.
I arrived in front if Hades's big hall and saw Jack waiting for me in front if it. Monica was next to him too.
"If I was thinking that you are pregnant, I'll first tell you about that, not to someone else." I said to Monica. "That's what friends do" I said. I was mad at her. She shouldn't say that to Hades.
"I am sorry" she said and I just chuckled.
"Of course. Everyone is sorry now" I mumbled.
Before getting inside I looked at Jack for a moment and then entered the room. He was following me again but this time I didn't pay attention on it. I just continue my way and didn't turn back.
I entered the big hall and saw Hades at the end of it.
"I am here" I said to him as I was getting closer to him. I was still hearing Jack's steps behind me.
"Jack leave us alone" Hades said to Jack and I couldn't not to turn around and look at him.
"I won't" Jack said and stood up next to me. He looked at me and I looked at him. Suddenly he took my hand with his and squeezed it. "I am going to be here" he added and looked at him.
"Okay. I won't fight about it" Hades said and chuckled.

"I am not having this baby Hades" I said to him. Jack didn't say anything. He let me talk.
"Yes you are" Hades said to me and I just chuckled and looked down at the ground.
"It's not yours to decide" I said to him.
"Oh sure it is. You are having it and end of story" he said with serious voice.
"Why do you want this so badly?" I asked him. "There is a story behind all this isn't it?" I was speaking calm and wasn't showing up my anger.
"Once a friend of mine told me something" he started talking "he said that the kids with werewolf parents have bigger possibility to become true alphas." He said and I raised my eyebrows. "They are taking more power from their parents and it's easier to them to accept more power from the moon, so they should not kill to have power" he added. "The two of you are both very powerful alphas and the baby you are having in you stomach is part of the two of you. The baby is going to have powers from both of you."
"That's why you care so much about Sarah and the other kids here" I said to him. "Just for power and having a true alpha in your pack"
"Yes." He confirmed it. "But I have different feeling about your baby. You are both very different from the others. You have different life stories and that's pretty important too" he said and I raised my eyebrows again.
I couldn't believe was what he talking about. That was so stupid thinking and got me pretty nervous.
"I am not giving birth on a child that's going to be your toy" I said to him.
"It's not going to be a toy. He or she is going to be the next leader of our family" he said "the next most powerful alpha" he added.
I didn't want even to think about it. The last thing I wanted was my child to be the next Hades. I didn't want my child to be evil werewolf, bad person and o definitely didn't want it to be a killer. My decision was still the same.
"Maybe I am in your pack and I am listening to your orders all the time but not this time" I said to him seriously and tried to sound like I am strond and confident in myself, even when I knew I was having tough time and I was weak. "I am not having this child Hades. End of story." I said to him and turned around and tried to leave the hall, but Hades's guards stopped me.
"Don't you dare touch her" I heard Jack's voice. He got closer to me.
"Give us time to think Hades" Jack said to him.
"There is nothing to think about. You are going to have the baby." Hades said.
"Just give us the fucking time Hades" Jack nervously yelled at him.
"Okay" Hades said after a few seconds of thinking.
On the way out of the hall we met Monica. She got closer to me, she wanted to talk.
"Look Nessa, I am sorry" she apologized to me. I didn't say anything. I just looked down at the ground. "But having this baby is the best decision you'll make in your life. The baby is a gift from God" she said and looked at her and chuckled.
"Not in this world Monica. Not in my life" I said to her and turned around toward Jack. We both left and went in the room.

"Nessa" Jack stood up in front of me and looked me at the eyes.
"I am not mad at you Jack" I said to him. "But I can't do this. I don't want all this." I said
"Nessa it's a baby." He said "a little creature in your stomach." He said and put his hands in my cheeks. "You can't just give up of it just like that." He said to me.
"And let my child to be Hades's toy, the next most powerful alpha" I said and departed from him. "I am not doing it" I said and nervously laughed.
"Nessa we are going to take care of the baby. It's our baby, we are going to decide about its future." He said to me. "I am going to protect you and we are going to protect the baby together." He said and gave me a short kiss on the lips.
"It's not that simple Jack" I said to him and sat on the bed.
"I didn't say it is" he said to me. "But we are going to fight for the baby and for us." He said "it's our baby Nessa" he said as he leaned on his knees in front of me.

Our baby? Sounds so sweat and lovely, but I feel nothing about that. I am not excited, I am not having that mother's fear, mother's excitement. I don't want it I don't feel it. I can't have this baby. I am sorry because I am doing this, but I just can't. I am not ready and I think I would never be ready for a child. That's not going to happen to me ever. That's my destiny. I have shit of life and I already give up on fighting.

"Nessa are you listening to me?" Jack asked as he interrupted my thoughts.
"Jack, I am not changing my decision" I said to him and the smile from his face disappeared. He looked at me seriously.
"Oh god, you are so stubborn" he said to me.
"I am not" I said and stood up. "I am just doing what I want, what I feel and what I think it's the best." I said to him.
"You are doing nothing good Nessa" he said to me.
"I don't want this child Jack, don't you understand that?" I yelled at him.
"And don't you understand that I want it?" He yelled back. "It's my child too remember. I am the father. This baby is part of me too. It's not only your decision to make" he said and I saw he got pretty nervous.
I didn't know what to sat. He was right, he had that right too.
I just sat on the floor and leaned on the bed. Jack did the same and we were just looking at the wall in front of us and didn't talk.
We were there sitting in silence for a few hours. We both didn't talk and didn't move. I was thinking about all over again and I am sure he was thinking about it too.
I tried so hard to find something good in all that situation but I couldn't. I couldn't find the better side of me being a mother.

"And?" Jack decided to speak in one moment. He was still looking at the wall in front of him.
"And?" I mumbled.
"I am asking you one last time Nessa" he said and I felt he was looking at me. I was still not looking away from the wall and I definitely couldn't look at Jack.
"I can't have the baby" I said and leaned my head down.
"Of course" he said and I saw him getting up. "Of course you are not changing you decision. Why I even asked" he said and I left the room.

I stayed there. I didn't move. I was feeling like crap.
I was sitting there for an hour when I decided to lay on the bed. I didn't even felt when I fall asleep, laying alone on the bed.