Brick by Brick

Part Thirty Six

Chapter Thirty Six

Sammy was still unsure of what was going on in Joel's head; his mood seemed to be volatile, changing at the drop of a hat. But the meal he had prepared was delicious, and the dry yet smooth Prosecco she'd opened cut through the rich pasta sauce perfectly.

"You are a great chef," she finally broke the silence, smiling at him.

He glanced up and he was blushing, that made her smile, "no way. I can pull a few ingredients into some sort of meal, that's it at most."

She laughed, "did you ever have Marcus cook you a meal? Though I use the word cook very loosely. He burned spaghetti...have you ever heard of that?"

She paused for a moment, wondering whether he would flinch at the mention of Marcus, he dropped his head for a moment, and she could see his throat move as he swallowed deeply.

"He couldn't make a cup of coffee when we were in school." As he spoke he lifted his head and smiled. "For a man who was so on top of everything in his life, his inability to boil an egg really didn't make sense. But he almost had a dyslexia when it came to the kitchen."

Sammy laughed, "that is EXACTLY what he was like." It was nice, to talk about Marcus without feeling pain, without feeling guilt or loss. "This is what I wanted Joel, to talk about him, to share memories with you...without it changing what we have."

He sighed, "we don't have anything."

Sammy studied him for a moment, "don't we?"

Shrugging he turned back to his meal and they ate in silence.

When their plates were empty Sammy gathered them up and took them to load into the dishwasher, then with her flute of the remaining Prosecco between her finger tips she turned, leaning against the worktop.

"You mean that?" When he looked at her questioningly she added, "that there's nothing between us? Nothing to work on?"

He shrugged again and it made her angry, "bloody hell Joel! Is that it? Is that all that you've got?"

"What do you want from me?"

Laughing she leaned across the table, "you know what I want, and it's the same as you want. But I am the only one willing to acknowledge it." As she spoke she felt empowered, she'd never been this direct when it came to dating, or lovers, but so much had happened, she'd lost so much...she didn't want to waste and more time.

"Sammy..."

She held a hand to silence him, "I am not about to beg for you to give us a chance, I know this isn't easy...but I'm also not going to let it go. So be prepared."

His eyes wide he stared at her, "what?"

Shrugging she reached for her glass of wine, "just that. At some point you will talk about this. I've let Marcus go...I've got past him. Which I admit wasn't easy. You have to too."

Joel watched her walk out of the room, and it wasn't until he heard her feet on the stairs that he released the breath he was holding, and then he started to shake...uncontrollably. He had honestly thought that she didn't feel that way about him. Her stark confession had thrown everything out of the water. She wanted to sample what was between them, to push things.

How did he feel?

The spark when he looked at her had always been there. It was unremitting, as strong as it ever had been. Slumping back in the chair he let his head hang back and closed his eyes. The thought of reliving that kiss, of touching her, of tasting her skin led to a jolt of tension hitting him in the groin like a bullet. He had to take an audible gasp of air, pulling his head back up he opened his eyes, it was never that easy. He wanted to be there for Sammy and Eleanor. He wanted to be the one who protected them, who did things for them. That was his priority.