Brick by Brick

Part Forty One

Chapter Forty One

Joel was sat at the kitchen table at his laptop when he heard the back door open. Looking up he met Sammy's eyes and all his anger dissipated at the puffiness he knew was caused by her crying. Lowering the lid on his computer he kept his eyes on her, when she had negotiated the pushchair in to the room the sleeping Ellie wrapped up snugly in it, and closed the door he asked, "how was your mother?"

He saw that flicker of guilt cross her face, just for a brief moment, then she shrugged, she didn't deny she'd been there...she lied to him.

"Jesus Sammy, we have been in a supposed relationship for less than twenty four hours and already I'm a stranger to you, and you are lying to me. What the hell am I supposed to think?"

She blushed, "I saw Corinne..."

"But not your mother, who I presume is still sat at home expecting you to turn up, because I THOUGHT that's where you were going."

She slumped against the work surface, "I'm not lying to you. I just have a lot going on in my head."

"And you don't want to talk to me; you don't want that to share things with me, is that it?" When she shook her head, he laughed, "so I'm just here for the sex then am I?"

He stood, his anger palpable, this was as difficult for him as it was for her. He had his own demons, and he'd been stuck in the house with nothing to do but dwell on things. The fact that there were a few issues with the presumed 'done deal' of selling his business had done nothing to assuage the anger and guilt of his own.

"Joel, don't be angry."

He was facing her now, searching her eyes for the truth, for signs that she was about to treat him as a partner, "I'm not angry Sammy, I'm disappointed. This was always going to be a difficult transition, from an awkward friendship to lovers, but I had no idea that you'd shut me out at the first opportunity." He laughed at that, "or that the first test would come within twenty four hours."

At that moment Ellie woke, and Sammy looked awkwardly between the two, unsure of what to do, who to please first. And suddenly he hated himself, she was a mother, that was her most important role and he had no right to make her question that, to neglect her daughter on his account.

With a shake of his head, he reached for his coat, "I need to go out."

Sammy had fed Eleanor and was dressing her ready for a cold evening outside when she finally got over him walking out. She should have chased after him, should have called him...somehow she had to tell him that none of this was about him, that it was all her. But it was easier for the moment to bury her head in the sand and pretend that none of it was happening. And whilst Eleanor gave her gooey eyes she could easily do that.

It was a short walk to town, down the road to the harbour, then a left into the square that housed the hotel, a couple of pubs, and a market every Sunday. Tonight it was filled with stalls; all erected that day, selling caramelised nuts, mulled wine and hotdogs. Most of the town had turned out and stood around the well lit Christmas tree adults chatting and clinking glasses with 'cheers', kids rushing around the legs of the grownups playing chase and hide-and-seek. For Sammy this signified all that Christmas meant family, friends, community, all coming together.

As she purchased a glass of mulled cider, she preferred it to wine; she heard her name being called. Turning around, she spotted her mother winding through the crowd towards her smiling. She looked so much better than she had a couple of days earlier, and today she was sporting a new wig, glossy chestnut hair, hanging to her shoulders.

"You look good mother."

Monica stooped to smile at Eleanor, who gave a goofy grin back, then returned to her height, "I called earlier, to say sorry. For being so grumpy when you called around."