South Shields

Chapter 12

- PERRIE -

The next morning I wake up early to get to work. It's way too early, and when I get to work I'm literally half asleep. I hate to open the café.

I work at a small café situated in central South Shields. Personally, I love the café. I used to come here and grab a coffee or a donut with my mom, but since I started to work here I don't come here as often.

I unlock the front door and walk inside. It's dark since the sun's barely up yet, but it's warm and it smells good. I walk behind the disk, turn the lights on and continue to walk to my locker. It's in another room, and I have to walk through our kitchen. When I put my bag in my locker I hear Farrah shout:
"Hello?" and then the doorbell rings, which signals when someone walks inside.

"I'm here Farrah!" I shout from the locker room. In a few seconds she's beside me, patting my back. I turn my face to her and say hello.

"Hello darling, how are you today?" she asks me with a smile.

"I'm good, but I'm really tired. You know I hate the morning shifts..." I sigh.

"I know you do, but that's life." she says. "I'm happy you're here." she continues as she puts her jacket in her locker.

Farrah is a woman in her fifties, and she has been working here for at least twenty years. It could be more. She's from America, and it was "the love of her life" that made her move to the U.K., as she always says.
She is the kindest and most thoughtful person I have ever met, and I'll tell you I'm very happy to have her at my work. She always manages to put a smile on my face; even now when I'm tired and grumpy.

-

It's early afternoon, and Farrah and I eat our lunch together. Two other people are working while we're eating our lunch, which by the way consits of delicious sandwiches from the café.

I start to think about Jade, and I wonder if I really did the right choice to sign up to that dating-site last night. What if I'd meet somebody and hurt Jade?

Why are you thinking about her, Perrie?

My mind is a chaos. I can't think straight when Jade is on my mind.

Farrah is good at giving advice...

"Farrah..." I start. She turns to me. "Have you ever been confused when it comes to love?" I ask her.

She starts to laugh. I feel stupid.

"Oh, dear... I bet everyone have been confused when it comes to love." she says. Good. I'm not weird. 

"I was very confused when I met Richard, my husband, in America and he wanted me to move to the U.K. with him. It felt like I didn't know anything about myself, or about love, or about life. I was confused." she says, and emphasozes 'confused'.

"Oh... Okay." I say as I process what she just told me. 

"Why are you asking me?" she wonders after a while. I don't know if I should tell her about Jade, since she has her reputation... I could always make her anonymous.

"Well..." I start. "There's this person... who told me they liked me more than a friend..."

"Okay... An anonymous friend." she giggles. "Mind to tell me who his person is?"

"I'd like to keep it a secret, actually." I say, and I kind of feel bad for it. Farrah doesn't seem to mind too much, but I'd like to keep Jade a secret since she has her reputation.

"Anyways. I feel very confused about this, since I'm not interested in them in that way. I only want to be friends. But the thing is that I just can't stop thinking about this person. So... I'm asking you for advice." I finish my story.

"I see..." she says. She's pondering. I hope she'll give me a useful advice, since she has lived on this planet for about thirty years longer than me.

"I'd say that I think that you in some way are interested in this person. Maybe as more than a friend. I don't think you would've thought that much about all of this if you wouldn't have been interested in the person in a romantic way." she tells me.

I panic.

I don't think I like Jade as something more than a friend. And I definately don't dare to.

- JADE -

I close the door to my apartment and walk to the couch. I sit down and pick the bag of potato chips up. I turn the TV on and watch Teen Mom on MTV.

This is me grieving over Perrie. She isn't dead, but it feels like she is. I really felt something special for her, but it feels like it's dead. She doesn't feel the same about me. She's straight. And I was stupid enough to believe that I could turn her around.

The last few days has only been wroking and watching TV for me. I don't have any friends, and since I'm feeling down I don't want to do anything.

Maybe I should start looking for an apartment in another town? Maybe London? I would get away from Perrie, have a chance at becoming a singer and maybe be accepted for who I am. This town is stupid and I hate it more than usual right now. Maybe everything would be easier if I got away from here.

I go to my bedroom to fetch my laptop, and I walk back to the couch again. I search for free apartments in London, but it's hard as fuck to find any that aren't too expensive. I might stay here for a while.

I can always sit inside and watch Teen Mom. 

(I hope you liked this part!! xx)