South Shields

Chapter 17

- PERRIE -

I have to tell her. I have to tell Jade about Lucas. If I want a friendship with her, I shouldn't keep secrets from her, but I'm worried that she'll stay away from me if she get hurt by it. 

It's monday and I'm on the bus. I'm going downtown to look for some nice clothes to wear when I meet Lucas. I want to look nice, and even though he hasn't seen any of the clothes I have, I feel like I need something fresh and new to wear. Maybe a new skirt or top...

I consider going to Jade's when I'm finished, because I feel like I need to tell her. At the same time, though, I feel like she doesn't have to know. We said we'd take it slow in our restarted friendship, and therefore it feels like it could be too much to tell her that I'm seeing somebody when I know she has feelings for me.

Everything is a fucking mess, and I don't know anything.

-

I find a navyblue jumpsuit with long, loose sleeves and a short bottom, so it's perfect considering the weather. Soon it will be summer, and I could probably wear it on a night out, or something. Oh, wait... Who am I kidding? I probably won't go out.

I decide to walk to Jade's apartment. I think it will take about 20 minutes, since it's at the other side of the town. While I walk, I can think about how I will tell her about Lucas. If I will tell her about Lucas. I could always tell her a lie and say that I just wanted to hang out.

-

I knock on the door, and a few seconds later someone opens it. It's not Jade.

"Uhm..." I say, confused. "Doesn't Jade Thrilwall live here?" I ask.

"Yes she does." the girl says and steps aside. For a moment I think that it's a girl she's been sleeping with, and I feel a little jealous. Stop!, I tell myself. 

"She's not home, though. Who are you?" she continues. She's eating a sandwich, and now she takes another bite of it.

"I'm a friend of hers, my name's Perrie." I present myself.

"Oh, my, god! I'm Jesy, her sister!" she shouts with excitement, and suddenly her arms are around my body. "It's so nice to meet you!" she adds. "Come in!" 

I walk inside and close the door. Jade's sister has long brown hair and slightly tanned skin. Her smile is similar to Jade's, and her eyes too, I think. When I look at them, I see they aren't the same color as Jade's.

I follow Jesy inside, and I also follow her into the kitchen. She sits down by the table, and I sit down at the chair beside her. She is very beautiful, but her body is very unlike compared to Jade's. Jade is very tiny and small, but Jesy is pretty tall, and she is rugged. It's nothing negative, since she's very good-looking, but that is probably what makes them less alike.

"When will Jade be back?" I ask, just so we don't sit here in silence. 

"I don't know really, probably soon." Jesy answers and take a bite of her sandwich. "What are you going to tell her?"

"I'd rather not tell you." I say, and hear how rude I sound. "No offence." I therefore add.

"I'm cool. I was just curious." Now she chews on the last piece of her sandwich, and she leans towards me.

"So you are the Perrie..." Jesy says, almost whispers. It sounds like she's saying it more to herself than to me.

"Yes...?" I say in lack of words.

"Jade has told me some stuff about you."

What? What stuff? Everything? That we're friends? That she told me she likes me?

"Excuse me?" I panic.

"She has told me loads about you." she says again.

"She has?" I must look worried, because Jesy starts to laugh.

"Oh god! Nothing bad, Perrie!" she can't seem to stop laughing. "Don't worry!"

I can breathe again. I don't feel like everybody should know about mine and Jade's story. It should be private.

Speaking of the devil, the front door opens.

"Hey Jes!" Jade's voice shouts from the hallway.

"You've got a visitor." Jesy shouts back and walks out of the kitchen, probably to leave me and Jade alone.
She stands up and walks out from the room, and I hear her tell Jade, "She's in the kitchen." as she passes the hallway.

A moment later, Jade quietly walks into the kitchen. She sits down on the chair that Jesy just sat on, and waits for me to start talking.

"Hi." I begin.

"Hey." she says with a little smile.

"So... I came here to..." I trail off. Should I really tell her? I don't want her to be sad? Or worse: I don't want her to be jealous and leave me. I like her. As a friend. I think.

"What?" she helps me. She probably doesn't want to sit her all day.

"I thought you maybe would like to know... Or at least I want you to know..." It's so hard to begin. I don't know how to say it right. "I want to tell you this because... Well, because you should-" I stutter, but Jade interrupts.

"For god's sake, Pez! Get to the point." she giggles afterwards, which means she isn't annoyed. Good.

"I met a guy on a dating site, and I'm going to meet up with him." I say, and afterwards I'm able to breathe again. The big lump in my stomach is gone. And then I look at Jade.

I can't tell if she's surprised, sad, disappointed or shocked.