South Shields

Chapter 14

- PERRIE -

I've been in my room the entire afternoon chatting with Lucas. It has turned out he likes rock music - just like me, and that he's very kind. Well, at least on the internet.

I feel very bubbly and excited about Lucas. What if we'll decide to meet in real life some day. I'd probably be more awkward than usual, but I think I would enjoy it. His first impact on me is positive.

When mom shouts that dinner is ready I head down immediately. When I get down mom asks me if somethings "wrong".

"You're just so happy. It's almost like you're shining." she tells me.

"Okay." is my answer. I don't think she would be very happy to hear that I've started to date online. Especially not since her reaction to me going to a party was telling me she didn't want me to get drunk.

I need to move out of this house. As soon as possible.

-

I go to bed late that night, since I just have to talk to Lucas. I didn't thought it would be so easy to talk to a guy. Well, technically I'm writing to him, not talking. I'd probably be awkward if we talked face to face, so getting to know him over the internet is a great way for me to get started.

-

The next morning I wake up at 9:13. I don't have to worry, since I start work after lunch. I get down to eat breakfast and watch TV as usual. I find an interesting show about plastic surgery that I watch. When I'm finished, I go upstairs to my room to get dressed in anything else than my pajamas. I pick up a pair of blue jeans from the floor and put them on. Then I put on a simple grey T-shirt and let my hair be out.

My phone starts buzzing, and when I look at the screen I freeze for a moment.

It's Jade.

What does she want? She hasn't been calling me for a week, so what does she want now?

I'm not so sure I'd like to either meet or talk to her. I felt fooled by our friendship, since she actually wanted me to be with her. I still feel like that in one way.
And also, I don't want her to know about Lucas. She doesn't have to know anything about it, actually. It's not about her. It's about me, and it's about him.

I don't answer her call. Instead, I leave my room without my phone to go down to mom. She's baking some cookies, and it smells delicious.

"Aren't you working?" she asks me, a little surprised.

"Does it look like it?" I joke. "My shift starts 2  o'clock."

"That's nice, now you could sleep out." she smiles at me as she takes the cookies out of the oven.

"Mom..." I start, and I instantly regret it. I'll have to tell her about Jade now. Well, not mention Jade, but talk about her.

"Yes, dear?" she says and sits down on the chair at the opposite side of the table. "Is something wrong?"
 
"I'm just..." I don't know how to start. "It's this... guy." I tell her. Such lies.

"Okay." She looks a little suspicious. "What is it with this guy?" she asks, emphasizing 'guy', just like I did.

"He wants to be more than friends, but I don't really like him in that way. At least I don't think so." I explain. "What do you think I should do?"

"You should hang out with him! In a romantic way. Perrie, remember how you've always said you couldn't wait until you got a boyfriend! Huh?" she suddenly seems very happy and enthusiastic.

"But mom, I-" I don't have the chance to continue talking.

"You can't reject the first real man that has said he is interested in you in a romantic way. Perrie, this is your chance! You could get together and move out, and maybe I could become a grand-mother, and-"

"What the hell, mom!?" I feel very angry. This is not okay. 

"Perrie?" she looks like she doesn't know what just went wrong. 

"What the fuck are you doing!?" I stand up from my chair. "This is so wrong! I came to get your advice on something that has been bothering me for a week and all you do is to start deciding what my future will look like? What the hell?"

"Perrie, not that language, please..." she seems a little scared of me. She should be. I'm done.

"You know what? I don't fucking care about my language. I don't care about what you think!"

Then, it just flies out of my motuh before I can think about it.

"And the 'he' I just talked about is actually a 'she'." I say.

Mom freezes. She looks like a statue. I turn around to go up to my room and leave her like that, but since I've already started I can continue with my secrets.

"And by the way-" I start as I turn around to face her. "-I've met a guy on the internet. On a dating site. We're planning on meeting." I finish and run upstairs.

When I lay down on my bed, I think about the last sentence I said to her. Lucas and I are not planning on meeting each other. We've only been talking for a few days, and neither of us have even mentioned meting up.
I would like that, though. I'd probably be very nervous, but I think it would be funny. He seems like a nice guy to hang out with, and also I'd like to see him in person. I bet he looks even better.