The Man With The Metal Arm-Bucky Barnes x Reader

Chapter 10 - To The End

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sup nerds. i think a coulple more chapters. like 3 maybe. ok bye
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~normal POV~

I didn't actually sleep when Bucky put his arm around me. Believe me, I tried. But the combined embarrassment from the closeness and the extreme terror and pain I was still feeling I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking, my brain wouldn't be quiet. It must be Hell for Bucky, I mean just in general. Having someone else in your head must suck and when they are thinking things like "do penguins have knees can they bend them maybe that's why they can't fly because they don't have knees" while you're trying to sleep has to make him want to stab me.

     I sat leaning into him with my eyes closed for ages, but finally I decided that if I want going to sleep then there was no point in being here and that we should get out of here. I turned my head to his face to see if he was asleep.

     "Bucky." I whispered. He didn't respond. "Bucky?"

     He had somehow fallen asleep, head down and hair in his face. Soft breaths left his mouth and hit my skin, sending shivers across my body. I smiled, leaning my head back against the wall and closing my eyes again. I didn't sleep but I needed the time to think.

     As my mind wandered I thought about what would come next, what the future held. What would happen after we made it to safety? Would we even make it to safety? If we did where would it be, who would be there with us? I let the thoughts swim through my head until I heard a scream. I looked around, more screams came but I couldn't locate the source by sight. I soon came to realize it wasn't someone outside or inside the building. It was in my head. The moment I had the thought I felt extreme pain in my head. A bright light seemed to shine over me and I squeezed my eyes shut. The pain dulled and I opened my eyes for a second only to see I wasn't in the building anymore. I was standing next to a man, one I didn't know, in a room with dim yellow lighting and no sunlight coming in. It was small, dingy, and just generally run down. A metal table say in the middle with an ominous machine behind it. On top of the table lay a man, eyes closed as if asleep. Upon further inspection he was in fact not asleep, just in so much pain he couldn't open his eyes. He had brown hair and familiarity handsome features. His mouth was open, gasping breaths in and out.

     The man standing next to me grabbed something from his lab coat pocket, a mouth guard. The sudden realization of the familiarity of the scene caused me to gasp loudly, then choke out a sob. I knew what was happening, I'd seen it too many times before.

     I immediately rushed to stop him but I went right through the man, like I was a ghost. I kept trying as he roughly placed the mouth guard into the other mans mouth and pressed a button on a control panel i hadn't noticed before now. Metal cuffs held down the other man's limbs as a piece spun up from the back and fitted itself around his head. I turned my back as the machine powered on, screams from the man echoing through my brain. Hot tears trailed down my face as it continued, many about to fall to the floor. The drips seemed to echo louder than the screaming as they made contact with the concrete floor only for a second, then the screams became louder and louder until I couldn't handle it anymore.

"Stop it, STOP IT PLEASE!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't hear myself over the noise. Suddenly everything went silent. I opened my eyes, being blinded by light. I squinted, trying to figure out where everything had gone. I saw a dark silhouette in the distance. I ran towards them as fast as I could. They became bigger and bigger until I was only a step behind them.

"Who are you?" I asked.

The person turned to me with a familiar icy glare and whispered something j barely caught.

"What are you?"

     I cried out as the vision faded and I was suddenly back in the rundown mold apartment building. I was gasping for breath, my heart beating so fast I thought I was going to die right then and there. I looked around at the dusty sunlight pouring in the windows. Beside me Bucky was trembling, I could feel the movement as he was wrapped around me. I turned my head to him and called his name. He flinched and looked up at me, suddenly very terrified, and backed away from me. He took in deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. I put my head in my hands, doing the same. After a few minutes we had both gone silent and we had stopped breathing so heavily. I decided to speak up first.

     "Sorry. I didn't mean to get in there. I don't know how I did, I really wish I hadn't." I grimaced, not wanting to look at him.

     It took a moment before he answered. "It's fine." he said, his voice barley above a whisper. 

     Its not though. I heard a voice in my head, much like his but it seemed sadder. 

     I'm so sorry. You could just tell me, you know. I don't want to pressure you or anything but I'm here. I tried to mentally @ him to make sure here would hear it.

     A confused look crossed his face before he looked to me, a look I can't quite describe on his face. Sadness mixed with hurt and a hint of hesitation. He wanted to so badly, but he didn't trust me. Hell, I don't even trust me. 

      "I just, its all I can remember. The pain. No matter how many times I'm wiped, I can always still remember the pain." A teary eyes expression crosses his features. "I-I just want to- to forget but I cant. And I can't remember fücking anything else. I have nothing in my mind to distract myself from the pain and extreme loneliness I feel. I'm a fücking murderer who's done far worse than any guy you've ever heard of. And I'm alone because of that. Well, and because I might be a stone cold emotionless díck. Thanks Hydra. Real sweet of you to take everything away from me and leave me with that."

     I'm shocked to say the least. Even when we were on missions and at Hydra facilities he never talked this much. He only ever told me that he was glad they fücked me up too, because otherwise he'd be alone. I wonder if he remembers.

     "I don't." He says. "I really wish I could, but I don't." He started to laugh, almost psychotically. "We're both fücking lunatics." He keeps on laughing.

     After his laughter subsides he sits with a sad smile on his face. He quickly pushes himself up off the ground and turns to me. He extends a hand and smirks at me. 

     "Come on." He says. "Lets blow this  fücking popsicle stand."

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welp. end soon. stuff will be explained. also i know i say it alot but really I appreciate every single one of you thank you so much for reading and ill see you in the next chapter.
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