The Man With The Metal Arm-Bucky Barnes x Reader

Chapter 9 - Negativity

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Yo. I don't have anything special to say. Just um, thanks for being here. I really appreciate you all and I'm so sorry for not updating frequently. I'm a piece of trash and I don't even spend time doing anything but somehow I avoid writing this. Soz about that. Anyways. Hope u like this.
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     When I open my eyes the next morning I'm very confused. It's dark, but we are no longer moving. We must have stopped during the time I was asleep. I decide that it's not important and snuggle back into the comfy warmth around me. After a few moments alone with my thought something comes to me. What am I tOUCHING WHATS SO WARM AHHHHHHHH. In a stupor  I jolt up, half heartedly pushing away from the warmth. Wait noooo now I'm cold fück come baaaaccckkkk. I shiver as I hear movement and what seems to be a laugh. I turn towards the source and it so happens to also be the source of my warmth. I can see a shadow like silhouette, but not much else.

     "What's so funny?" I ask, reaching a hand out to try and find the thing moving.

     My hand comes in contact with cold metal and it snaps me from my daze. I'm fully aware that A. I  mumbed that question incoherently B. I am touching the freezing cold metal arm of the one and only, Bucky Barnes.

     "You know I can still hear your thoughts, right?" He says and I can hear the smirk on his face.

     My face goes red, hopefully it's dark enough he can't tell. "Ohhhh my god. Sorry. Fück. Sorry. I was still partially asleep I didn't mean to uh....sorry!"

     I pull my knees to my chest and bury my face in them. Way to go Y/N. Minutes pass in silence and I decide to go back to sleep. I start to doze off when he speaks. (( I feel like I use the word speak too much lol))

     "Are you warm enough?"

    "I'm fine." I reply and go back to nodding off. I shiver and hope he didn't notice. You're a dirty liar. You're freezing. But you won't tell him that, will you? You'd rather be cold and miserable than face you're past. That's...not my voice. Who is that inside my head? They sound menacing, aching to get a reaction. I wonder if Bucky heard. I hear him move next to me and he gets up, walking around for a moment before sitting on the other side of me. As I slip into unconsciousness I suddenly feel warm again. I huddle into it, as I hear his words.

     "You're a terrible liar." He whispers before I fall into the blackness of sleep.

~my child Bucky's POV(actually it's kind of third person lol)~

He decided they needed to rest, her especially. Though she was asleep she wasn't very comfortable, he could tell by her thoughts. Weather she wanted to or not, she was thinking in her sleep. She kept complaining that her back would be sore the next day. He drove for only a bit longer before he pulled into a town with a small population and even smaller houses. He couldn't spot a hotel, not like he could afford to stay at one. He searched for somewhere safe for them to sleep, but alas there were lots of homeless people who were not willing to share an alleyway.

     He went to the outskirts, finding an abandoned apartment building. He could tell why, the outside was falling apart and the inside wasn't much better. There were rats and roaches, but it was the best he could do. He managed to get the bike inside and hid it behind the front desk, or what was the front desk. Most everything had been taken apart, drywall missing and pipes exposed. He carried her bridal style, up many flights of stairs. He decided he liked the view from the third floor, so he quietly got them into one of the apartments. It wasn't as bare as the rest, it looked as if someone had been staying there. But the food that had been left out was moldy and the water stale. They probably left to go live their life and got mugged or killed. People were so cruel. Why, he didn't understand. But he was that way, and he knew it. He wanted to change. But it was hard. He didn't have anything to fall aback on, every bit of himself had been torn away against his will. He didn't know how to be anything but the thing they had made him. But he was trying.

     He sat down against the wall, still holding the girl. She didn't seem to want to move, so he just sat like that for what must have been hours. Then she got uncomfortable, so he sat her next to him. She leaned against him, soaking up the warmth of his body. Funny how he could be so warm yet so cold at the same time.

     He never fell asleep, he was too caught up in his thoughts. He was trying to remember things, but it wasn't working. It never did. As she slept, though, he heard her voice in his head. She would say things like "Please don't." Or "help me". Nightmares, probably.

     He'd gotten used to her voice in his mind. He was no longer startled when she spoke there. He kind of liked it, having someone else to occupy his mind was almost calming. There had been nothing there, really, for years. It felt nice.

     It was still dark when she started talking again, in his head. She had been silent for awhile, a dreamless sleep. But then she seemed conscious. Wait what am I tOUCHING WHATS SO WARM AHHHHHHHHH. He smiled at that. He thought she was funny. Wait noooo now I'm cold fück come baaaaccckkkk.
He laughed out loud that time, she really was funny.

     "What's so funny ?" She asked. He felt her reach out and when her fingers made contact with his metal arm, everything changed dramatically. She was more awake and the feeling she was giving off in his brain was alert and afraid. While she slept he felt calm, serene. Now it was different. He decided to play along, answering her question with a bit of humor.

     "You know I can still hear your thoughts, right?" He was. Little surprised at his own voice, he hadn't head himself talk in awhile.

     Her aura changed immediately, she felt defensive and nervous. He didn't know why. They could hear each others thoughts, at least he thought they could. He didn't know for sure, she didn't seem bothered by it if she could. She stuttered out an apology, scooting away and going silent. After a few minutes he looked to her and she looked to be sleeping. She was cold, he could feel it. Not because he was cold or because she kept complaining about the temperature in her head. He just knew somehow that she was cold. He asked if she was warm enough and she said she was fine but her thoughts gave her away. You dirty liar. A voice hissed in his mind, not his not hers. You're freezing. But you won't tell him that, will you? You'd rather be cold and miserable than face your past. A feeling of panic set over him. There was someone else in her mind, and they didn't have good intentions. The voice was cold and rough and menacing like they had been through too much. He wanted to get rid of them, but he settled for walking to the other side of her and wrapping his arm around her.

"You're a terrible liar." Also your thought are in my head so I se right through the bullshít but. She didn't object, so he stayed there and sat until morning, thinking about the voice.

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yooooooo so I've decided to write before bed bc I don't want to sleep so here have two in one week. Wow, what a miracle. I might even update regularly now. I say this and have jinxed myself and won't update forever. But yeah. Also this will end soon so get prepared. I'd also like to ask if there's anything anyone wants after this ends. I want to keep writing bc I need practice and I like it a lot so if there's anything specifically anyone wants maybe I could make a oneshot book and take requests. If anyone cares prolly not but aye. See y'all soon.
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