Sensation (h.s)

Chapter Eighteen

✺ Kate's point of view ✺

"Do you have any plans for Christmas?" I ask Harry through a mouthful of cheese pizza. He's stuffing his face equally as desperately as I am and making me giggle as pieces of pineapple fall from his Hawaiian pizza and onto his lap.

"No, I don't." He brings a napkin up to dab the corners of his mouth, then looks at me again.

"My parents offered to fly me to France to come spend the holiday with them, but I don't know if I'll go. It's one thing to go visit them for the weekend, but another to be stuck out of the country for a week pretending like I'm enjoying myself." He shrugs his shoulders and takes another bite of his pizza without looking up at me.

The relaxing glow of the dim lights in the small pizza parlor makes him look like an angel. Our entire Saturday night so far has consisted of a glass of wine at his apartment, then both of us agreeing we needed to eat dinner before we got drunk off of just wine. It's been three days since I've admitted my uncharted feelings for him that we've agreed to ignore. We went back to normal as if we never had the conversation in the first place. I'm not sure how I feel about the situation, but I'll roll with it for now.

"Don't you want to go see your family though?" I can't help but be slightly jealous of the fact that he has the ability to go home and is refusing. I would give anything to be able to spend the holidays with my parents and Charlie.

"I do, it's just one of those situations where I don't really know what I want to do. I need to put some more thought into it." He shrugs his shoulders and reaches over to my plate to grab my small packet of ranch to dunk his pizza in. I return the favor by grabbing his beer and taking a swig while he continues to wolf down his pizza.

"What are you doing for the holidays? Any big plans?" He eventually responds. He's finished off one of the three slices of pizza he ordered for himself while I'm still working on my single slice.

"No, I'm going to be here. I'm not allowed to go back to Florida, or anywhere else really, so..." I frown slightly as I think about the fact that this will be my first Christmas spent on my own. I'm not allowed to send anything to my family for the sake of the return address being somewhere on the packages, and I certainly can't give them anything in person. I haven't spoken of the regulations regarding them sending me stuff, but I imagine it's something similar. At this point I truly couldn't care less about the gifts. The best present I could receive is being at home with my family again.

"Earth to Kate." Harry waves his hand in front of my face and I'm snapped out of my trance of thoughts. I can almost imagine how comforting it would be to hug my parents again after so many months, and to finally hear Charlie's voice.

"Sorry. I was thinking." I shake my head to clear the thoughts, then sigh quietly. Harry stares at me for a long moment with his lips pursed and his eyes scanning my expression.

"Don't be sad about not being able to see your family, babe. I know it's tough to deal with but I can assure you, they probably want you there as much as you want to be there. Don't let it ruin your Christmas, though." His hand covers mine on top of the table and I watch as his thumb grazes over my knuckles. I manage to crack a small smile at the sight even though my mind is buzzing with millions of thoughts.

"Well if you're gone too then I'll officially be alone. Lena's been gone since last week because her family was going on some tropical cruise somewhere for the holidays." I sigh lowly and reach for his beer again, suddenly needing the distraction.

If both Harry and Lena are gone I truly will be spending my holiday alone. No businesses will be open and I can already picture myself waking up alone on Christmas morning in my dorm, warming up some soup and staring at the fake two-foot Christmas tree Lena put up in the corner of the room before she left.