Sensation (h.s)

Chapter Forty Six

✺ K A T E ' S ✺ P O V ✺

When Harry leaves Saturday morning, we seem to have established some sort of understanding towards the stance of us. We fell asleep curled up together on the couch after what felt like hours of talking, giggling, and kissing. We had a few serious moments in between a lot of joking around, but somehow, we concluded what seemed best for us.

Back to square one: friends with benefits. Friends that have sex and act like a couple without the pressure of dating. Friends that can do or say what they want without penalizing it as friendly or romantic. Friends that are trying to ignore the fact that we've admitted to being in love with each other in the past. Friends that are trying to work around a hunger for each other but a lack of skill set that it takes to date one another.

It'll take time getting used to being friends.

My entire Saturday is spent trying to catch up on schoolwork I ignored during the weekend that James was staying with me. I alternate between studying, doing laundry, and attempting to ignore my wandering mind. I find myself continuously getting the urge to text Harry as I would have when we were dating, but I somehow restrain myself.

Last night he was as sweet as he could have been and I'm not worried he doesn't want to hear from me, but I am worried that I'll ruin the whole friendship attempt before it even begins. He doesn't have to talk to me throughout the day anymore or give me updates on what he's doing. Sadly, our agreement of our friendship was somewhere along the lines of he doesn't have to contact me at all unless he wants something from me.

On Sunday, he does exactly that.

It's around eight PM and I'm already in my pajamas when my phone rings. His voice on the other end of the line is deep and I almost immediately detect his mood the second he asks me if I'm busy. I force myself to not be disappointed and instead agree when he asks me to come over.

The second I arrive at his apartment, I can already feel the mood between us has shifted completely. He's lost his sweet and playful side from Friday night and instead it much less talkative or affectionate. I kiss him as a greeting but it's not the same as it always has been. I'm not sure if the distance between us is mutual or if I'm putting off enough discomfort to make up for the both of us, but our night continues on anyways.

"I was just about to turn on a movie in my bedroom if you don't mind hanging out in there. I've got to get up early so I assumed it'd be best to migrate there." He speaks formally to me as he pours me a glass of wine in the kitchen. I've removed my coat and shoes and now am left feeling slightly silly in the dress I put on before leaving.

I attempted to be casual with my attire but I didn't necessarily know how to dress for a booty call with my ex boyfriend. It's much different than it was before we had any official relationship between us. Back then all our evenings entailed were sex and a little bit of cuddling afterwards if I was lucky. As long as my underwear matched my bra I assumed he couldn't care less about the clothes he was taking off of me.

"Yeah, a movie sounds good." I answer back, glancing up at him just as he finishes pouring my wine. He places the cork back in the bottle and grabs his own cup without even looking back at me. His hand motions for me to follow him down the hallway and I comply silently despite my strange mood. I want to yell at him about how this is weird but I know this was a mutual decision between us. I should be happy I get to see him at all after I was the one to break up with him over text. He could have just as easily told me to leave him alone.

In his bedroom, things between us manage to get impossibly more uncomfortable. He chose some early nineties comedy to keep us entertained while we sit side by side in his bed and drink our wine. I'm still in my dress sitting stiffly beside him while he remains casual and leaned back against the headboard. I almost want to laugh at the situation as well as my back and forth emotions, but I keep quiet and sip my wine.