The Queen of pain (Anakin Skywalker Story)

The end of the beginning

Hey, the title of this chapter is my favourite song from Famous last words. Its a beautiful song, and means me a lot. When i was depressed, i was always listening this song, and thats how i could survive everything. 'You know its always been up to you, so now its time for you to choose, cause this is not the end!' Thats what i feel now, and thats what i felt every time someone betrayed me. I hope that you can believe in this too! Here is the new chapter, it will be a little long!

Szuzannas POV

I spent the whole day walking up and down in my room, or i went to Obi-Van to ask him about Anakin, but nobody knew anything about him. I was even calling him some times, but he didnt answer, and i couldnt do anything else, but giving up.

Everything was dark outside, as dark as this crowded city can be. I hated it, i hated that there was no real night there. I changed into my nightgown and went to sleep a little, but i was just laying in my bed for a long time, thinking about Anakin. I felt that something had happened to him, but i felt that he was alive. I knew that i would feel his death, because he was part of my soul, but something was wrong. I felt such a darkness that i was scared to close my eyes. When i finally did, i fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I woke up to a strange, soft feeling on my face, as if someone was stroking me gently. At first i taught that i was just dreaming, or imagining things, but than i could clearly feel the fingers that were touching me, and the so familiar smell. The smell of Anakin.

I opened my eyes, and i saw him, sitting on the edge of my bed. My heart nearly stopped from happiness, as i jumped up and hugged him tightly.

'Ani, where the Hell were you? What were you doing?' He hugged my back, and pulled me onto his lap, while i felt horrible coldness in my heart. It was not him, or at least, not exactly.

'I was busy, sorry!' he whispered, and i let go of him to look into his eyes. They were dark, and i saw a golden shimmer in them too.

'What were you doing?' i asked again, and touched his face. 'Anakin, please!' he kept his arms around me, and smiled, as if everything was fine.

'I am all right, Szuzanna! Dont worry about me anymore.' i felt like i was stabbed through my heart, and i couldnt breath.

'Tell me that you didnt.....' i couldnt continue, because i broke into tears, and it felt like my lungs were burning.

'Szuzanna, listen to me!' i shook my head in disbelief.

'No, i ve seen this eyes before! You are a Sith, arent you?' i shouted, and started to shake. 'How could you do this to me? And to everyone who loves you? Why didnt you let me help you, Ani, why?' He didnt seem to care about what i was saying, he just kissed my forehead, and brushed my tears away with his fingers. He made me look into his eyes, and smiled.

'Dont cry, dear! You ve cried enough!' He held my face in his palms, and he leaned on toward me. I could feel his breath on my skin, and suddenly, the soft lips touched mine. It felt like electricity, and my body trembled even more roughly, as he gently made me open my mouth to let him in. I didnt fight back, i wasnt able to refuse the thing i wanted the most in my whole life, even if i knew that it was wrong, and i even felt it.

He let go of my face, and pulled me closer to his body, my legs wrapped around his waist and i was closer to him then ever before. Than Ani broke the kiss, and went down to my neck to continue it. I felt that he was smiling against my skin as i moaned.

I couldnt say a word. I felt weaker that ever before, as if i was melting in his arms, but i wanted to stop him. I was enough clever to know that it was not real, he was just playing with me, and Padme is the one he still loves, but i wanted him. Kissing with him felt so good, but so wrong at the same time, that i felt like i could become insane. Part of me wanted to make him stop, but the more dominant part of me didnt care about the reality. "real is what you believe in" And i wanted to believe that it was all right.