I'm in pain.
It won't go away. It keeps coming back, slamming me into a wall and punching me until I'm half concious. It's like a bully that keeps telling me that I'm worthless, I'm a burden, I'm unwanted.
I feel like I've been crying for two years, yet it has only been two weeks.
I feel like I've been ripped in half.
Oh, I'm crying again. Great.
I'm an emotional wreck. I can stop myself during school, but once I get home I explode with tears. I am the walking definition of 'crying yourself to sleep'.
It's not because I'm lonely. It's not because someone died. It's not even because of a failing grade.
It's because I miss him, and I feel like I can't do anything about it.
It's the reason I'll sit in my class and stare off into space for twenty or so minutes. It's the reason I'll lay down and look up at the ceiling, silently weeping. It's the reason I'll be completely silent then laugh like nothing happened.
I feel helpless. I feel like I'm stuck in that buffer period where you wait for the next stage in a game to load. I feel like I'm being censored.
But when I do talk, I feel like I'm whining. I feel like I'm throwing a tantrum like a toddler. So I shut up and deal with it.
The more I dwell on it, the more I think that he deserves better.
All of these thoughts are slowly killing me. But what can I do about it?
YOU ARE READING
constantly blooming.
Poetry'i will never stop blooming, like an eternal rose of flame... i may have my times of smolder and small sparks, but i will always become a huge inferno in the end... and nothing can stop me.' Collection of poetry and prose between the ages of 10-15...
