Yeah Boy, and Doll Face

Yeah Boy, and Doll Face| 1

Oh god.

My stomach felt like it was twisting into millions of tiny knots, churning around, and sloshing in my stomach. Or to put it in an easier way ... I had butterflies.

Why? I have no clue. Maybe it was because I was so excited for tonight where I would meet my saviours for the first time. Sure I'd been to some of their concerts, but I always did something wrong and ended up in the very back of crowd, all screaming the guys' names and head banging along to the beat.

I guess it was also my nerves fraying. I didn't know if they would judge me when I meet them. I haven't really talked since I was 14 and just going into high school. I'm turning 28 next May. But when I did talk, bad things usually happened to me.

Before I stopped talking and turned silent, I didn't really know why people would push me around. Hurt me. Insult me. I never realized it was because of my stutter. I got really depressed. No one really liked me, but why? Why won't anyone talk to me or ask me out?

They thought I was a - and I quote - 'Freaky bitch who just needed to drink bleach and die.' I told my older brother Gage, the only parential figure besides our Grandmother I knew since our parents left us when I was three, who told me not to worry because he loved me and who cared what other people thought. I was still bullied, and I only took my anger out by trying to write. Notebooks and notebooks full of poems and stories and songs I'd written all expressed my feeling, lined my shelves in my shared apartment.

I went silent because of all their hate, and still now at 27. When someone who didn't know me too well tried to talk to me, and I didn't respond, they got angry.

I only walk away from them.

I only have one friend besides Gage who was turning 30 this year, Ellie Valenta. She didn't mind my speech. She says that she thinks it makes me more innocent sounding.

"Remy!" Gage called me from the living room.

I didn't say anything obviously, but I did set down my sketchbook where I had been drawing Pierce the Veil, and went to the living room, plopping down next to him on our fuzzy white sofa.

Gage really likes my drawings. He says that he's so proud of me for working at the tattoo shop a couple blocks away. That's actually how I met Ellie. She was my co-worker. And now my best friend.

"We should pick up Ell and head to the mall or something. I'm hungry and I want to get some new clothes to look presentable for Pierce the Veil when we meet them." It sounded gay, but that's what he was. And he was proud of it. I was proud of him too.

I nodded enthusiastically as a reply. He pushed me off the couch and we headed for the door, only pausing shortly to get our cell phones, wallets, and keys. We were in Gage's truck and heading to around the block to pick up Ellie.

It was around 1:00 in the afternoon and we were still in our pajamas, our shared raven black hair going everywhere. We didn't really care. We would change later.

I texted Ellie to let her know we were coming to pick her up. When we got to Ellie's apartment complex, we found her waiting with her pj's on too. We all had similar pajamas on. I had Oscar the Grouch fuzzy pants, Ellie had Cookie Monster, and Gage had Elmo. We were all wearing different band shirts.

Ellie looked like she had just woken up, which she probably had, but she smiled brightly, climbing in beside me.

"Ready to meet some Sexicans!" She beamed, reaching over me to blast the stereo. It was my brother's Asking Alexandria cd.

Even though I hated talking, there was no way I couldn't talk to Ellie. "F-fuck ye-yeah!"

I guess you could say that I had a soft spot for Ellie and Gage. Yeah. I do because they don't judge me.

We we at the mall in no time, quickly heading for Hot Topic, and ignoring the people who gave us strange looks, flicking off those who decided to comment.

We were out in no time, laden with two or three bags full of new clothing to choose from. We stopped at a shop that were selling cookies and ate three or four before heading back to get ready for one of the best night's of our life.