How Jack Wrote The Universe (Revised)

Prologue

PROLOGUE

I matter, I matter, I matter, I matter...

She keeps on chanting in her head. She knows it's a lie but she doesn't want to let go yet.

Not yet. She keeps on saying.

I matter.

It is a fantasy, and she let it be because it is too beautiful, and it doesn't make her want to choke herself or saw her own skin or tear her own body. She lies to herself because the thought is almost too beautiful, and she doesn't care whether that world, that thought, is false.

But keeping a positive attitude doesn't always work out especially when there's tons of mirrors and reflection to remind you that the monster is alive.

Everything makes Ladi weary and tired, especially in this moment. It feels like a bucket of problems has come crashing unto her. She is like a rock in the middle of an edgy-river, water tearing every bit of her being, slowly and painfully, as if it gives anyone who watched it a grand satisfaction.

She is like an animal stuck in a quicksand; she struggles and wriggles out of the black, thick and gooey substance that continues pouring down on her, drowning her as she tries to fight it But the thing about quicksand is that struggling while under its hold will only make your departure down much faster.

Trying to stay still will do nothing for her, because when under the hold of a metaphorical quicksand, nothing can save you - no vines will lead your way out nor thick woods that will stick somewhere off the rim of the thing, or if lucky, lost people like her will see and save her.

But Ladi isn't lucky, she figured it out a while back in a hard way, and it's about damn time to face it.

I matter.

I matter.

I matter.

I don't.

So she does what she has to do. Atop of her bed, she takes out a blade and draw two horizontal lines across her wrist. The way her blood comes out is like the way water will rush out from a tub faucet; slowly then all at once, crashing to the tiles; however this time it is her blood and it crashes to the creaky floorboards.

Her life dawns upon her as the light seeps through the curtains and through her eyelids. With one final move, she leans her head to her pillow and let her bloody arm falls to the floor; then her eyes closes, just as fast as she let out her first cry on the day she was born.

This is the day Ladi gives up on her life.

This is the day she ceases to exist.

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NOW, I know I said i'd edit here but i suck and i'm lazy so i'm just going to proofread later.

All chapters that has their name with the same slash + chapter number are revised.

DO check out my other story: CALAMITY.