moods / phan

chapter one

// welcome to my new book - I hope you enjoy it! //

dan

Being different sucks.

It's okay if the differences aren't noticeable, like different hair colour, or interests, but when it's a physical difference which sets you far apart from everyone else, you become isolated.

You wish with all your heart that you could be regular, you'd give anything to just simply blend in. And then there's basically all the 'normal' people, who just turn your differences against you.

That's exactly how Dan's life is. He's lacking something that every single other person in this world has.

He doesn't have moods. He has emotions, but in his world, moods aren't emotions. Moods are small, simple icons which hang above your head.

Each emotion for individuals have a different picture. For example, if you're feeling sad, there may be a rain cloud hovering over you, happy, a smiley face or sun.

Moods make it impossible to hide your true feelings, but in this world, the truth brings harmony. No one lies, and the world works like that.

Dan is an exception though. Above his head, where there's meant to be his moods, is a simple line. A dash, and that's all. It never changes, no matter what.

Dan thought it was bad enough all through his childhood, when kids looked at him funny, whispered about him, their parents warning them to stay away, worried that Dan might make their child mood-less too.

The thing is though, Dan isn't emotionless, his emotions just never seem to show. No matter how hard he tries, his 'mood' stays a short, stubborn, black line.

It was bad through the first years of his life, but when Dan was sixteen and his brother died unexpectedly, his whole world became ten times worse than it already was. Dan sobbed his heart out, locked himself away, stopped trying.

But no one thought he was upset because his mood didn't show it. Humans lie but moods don't, that's just how it works.

Now seventeen, Dan rarely speaks. Not that anyone wants to speak to him anyway. He's basically been shunned his whole life, but he's used to it now.

His parents tell him they love him, but he hears them, their whispers behind closed doors, wondering why their son isn't like everyone else. Dan sees their moods, never once has love been their emotion towards Dan.

Dan sits cross legged in his brothers room - which still hasn't been packed up. He runs his fingers lightly over a photo frame sitting on his bedside table. He misses him so much.

"Dan, dinner is ready!" His mother calls from downstairs.

"Okay!" Dan replies, sighing deeply before pushing himself up off the bed and walking downstairs to where his parents are both seated at the dining table.

Dan sits down, picking up his fork and spearing some pasta. As he eats, his eyes keep drifting to the empty seat beside him. Even after a year, he still can't quite get used to it.

"How was your day sweetheart?" Dan's mother asks, breaking the silence.

"It was okay. Same as every other day I guess," Dan says with a shrug.

When Dan glances up at his mother, he can see her mood floating above her head. It's just a tired face, the face a mother gives her son when she's truly given up on him.