moods / phan

chapter three

// he said our videos not just his ^_^ but their videos did brighten my days in dark times. i hope my writing one day will do the same ^_^

as for the other bit... anyone wanna be friends? lol I'm so sad. //

dan

Dan sits alone, his back against the sun warmed bricks which make up one of the English classrooms.

It's growing colder by the day, so the sun feels nice. However, Dan's pale skin is slowly singeing, but it's totally worth it.

Dan leans back, his eyes closed and earphones in his ears. It's one of his favourite things, just sitting and listening to music. He puts on one of his older, but definitely one of his favourite songs.

Cross my heart and hope to die, burn my lungs and curse my eyes...

Dan just lets music consume him. It makes him feel less alone, less isolated. It's as if as long as he has music in his ears, his mind remains quiet. Music is a distraction, an escape from himself.

Suddenly, a shadow falls over Dan. Dan grimaces before slowly looking upwards, fearing that it's Alfie or Joe. He doesn't think he can stand being shoved in a locker again.

But it's not them...

It's Phil.

Dan pauses his music and tugs out an earphone, frowning up at Phil, who's still blocking the sunlight.

"Can I help you?" Dan asks, his brow furrowing with confusion.

"Yeah! I want to be friends," Phil says, suddenly leaning down so he's face to face with Dan.

Unfortunately, Dan was still looking up when Phil moves, so his retinas got a full hit from the sun. Dan's hands quickly raise up to shield his eyes, but it's too late, the light is still flashing on his closed eyelids.

"Fuck, no need to blind me," Dan scowls, looking at the ground, slowly cracking his eyes open again.

"Sorry," Phil apologises, smiling sheepishly, his mood changing to a cringing face, "I didn't mean to. So back to my question, want to be friends?"

"W-why?" Dan asks, looking at Phil suspiciously.

Is this a joke? A wind up?

"Because, you look like you need a friend," Phil says, his mood changing to a smile.

"W-well I've s-survived this l-long," Dan points out, "why d-do I need a f-friend anyway?"

"Friends are always there for you, they support you, keep you company, confide in you and accept you for who you are," Phil says with a smile.

"No ones a-accepts me for w-who I a-am," Dan says quietly, "I d-don't e-even accept m-myself for who I a-am, so h-how can a-anyone else?"

"I accept you," Phil says.

"False. You're c-curious," Dan says, "y-you d-don't accept m-me. You w-want to f-find out why, you w-want to s-see if I can be f-fixed."