moods / phan

chapter sixteen

/ it has been so long since I updated so here's a very tumblr photo which I really like :D

it's been a while since I've written so sorry if it's terrible /

*one week later*

dan

Dan sighs deeply, falling back under his duvet and watching as the room seemingly grows as his head sinks into his pillow.

He's just staring at the ceiling, letting his mind wander as he just simply exists. It's roughly five a.m. and sleep is avoiding him so he's just waiting for his alarm to go off. He's not sure the exact moment but at some point his thoughts turn to his life before Phil Lester burst into it.

He's grateful for Phil, he really is. His life used to be just one large black hole; slowly and painfully tearing him into pieces. Somehow, Phil has pulled him out, and Dan is so thankful for Phil that he hasn't noticed Phil may have gotten caught by the black hole in the process of getting him out.

'now the night is coming to an end...'

Dan's alarm starts to sound however Dan just lies back and listens to the song for a while. It's such a peaceful yet sad song. Eventually though, reality makes itself known again and Dan has to turn his alarm off. The sudden silence which has fallen over Dan like a blanket covers him as he just sits on his bed, and suddenly his mood has crashed and burned and for no reason at all, he's completely empty again.

When Dan walks into school, Cat runs up to him and gives him a tight hug. She looks at Dan with a small smile and a look of concern in her eyes.

"Are you okay Dan? You look a bit upset," she says, her hands still on Dan's shoulders as she bites her eyes into his.

"I-I'm okay," Dan replies, the ghost of a smile flickering over his lips, "I-I'm just a b-bit tired."

"Okay, if you say so..." Cat says, giving Dan a doubtful look, her mood shifting to a look of suspicion.

"Hello everyone!" Pj says, appearing beside them with a bright smile and his brown curls sticking out everywhere, "how are we all?"

"I-I'm good n-now," Dan says with a bright smile, looking at the two people he now is comfortable to cal his friends.

It's true, they have cheered him up by doing absolutely nothing other than just acknowledging his existence in a kind way. Dan can't stop smiling as Cat breaks into a story of how some guy who came into her work was really annoying and Pj talks about almost dropping his camera.

Dan is so happy just to be with these amazing people he hardly realises that Phil still hasn't arrived, that he'd usually have arrived at least ten minutes ago. Dan Howell is starting to float, his mood and life piecing back together finally.

Dan has been too busy learning how to swim to notice that Phil is slowly sinking under.

***

Later that day, Dan sees Phil walk into class looking late and flustered.

He doesn't glance up, he just walks slowly towards the back of the classroom and sits by himself at the only spare desk. Dan can tell something is wrong, however he doesn't think Cat and Pj have even noticed their friend walk in.

Pj whispers something and Cat giggles, nudging Dan with her elbow to gain his attention. Dan turns and listens as Pj retells the joke he just said and Dan laughs, forgetting briefly about the boy who is sat at the back of the classroom, silently begging him to turn around.