learn. // shawnmendes

three.

"...and he called it progress." i said, finishing telling jack about my earlier conversation with shawn.

"it is." he replied.

i let out a sigh, "i know."

"why do you sound so upset about it? you chose to forgive him."

"yeah, he just looked so hopeful. there's a fine line between me forgiving him and us becoming friends. hell, there's a fine line between us even being acquaintances." i explained.

"well, shawns not exactly stupid. he probably realizes that."

"i didn't say he was stupid! leave me alone." i pouted playfully.

"i'm glad you didn't give him anything more than forgiveness. he may be one of my best friends, but he was a bitch." he said, seriously.

i hummed in response and looked out the window.

everyone was still outside and having the time of their life.

it makes me wonder how even though i say i've forgiven him, and that i'm over everything that happened, i'm still inside; away from all my friends and not having a good time. letting life go on without me.

"do you think you really ever get over something like this? like the heartbreak you read about in books? because i feel like maybe i was heartbroken. i just didn't know it at the time. i've never dealt with something like this before." i asked finally, turning back to jack to see that he was looking at me intensely.

"for some people, probably not. but you? yeah, you will. i've seen to tackle hate and idiocy for the last couple of months, not to mention all that math you do at school. you could rule the world if you wanted to, l." he responded, not faltering one bit as he answered.

"is ruling the world and ruling your emotions the same thing?"

"ruling the world is ruling whatever you want, whatever is most important to you. no matter what it is, you've got it in the bag."

"i'm not so sure i do." i responded and turned back to look outside. i caught shawn's gaze and held it. he gave me a a smile and as i returned it, i felt my stomach do the flips it hadn't done for awhile.

maybe it would be easier to control the world than it would be to control the way i felt and feel about shawn.

***
DOES SHE STILL LIKE HIM? the world may never know
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? HOW WAS SCHOOL? HOPE YOU HAD NO HOMEWORK AND ATE A NUTRITIOUS BREAKFAST!
I still wanna make a YouTube but I don't think people would watch:-/ anyway, I don't think you guys care about that stuff. love you and hope you liked leena contemplating her feelings for the one and only. all the love,
-Jas