learn. // shawnmendes

ten.

i spent most of today in my room, feeling kind of down for an unexplainable reason, just one of those days.

i had my headphones in my laptop and was leaning my body against the headboard as i watched my guilty pleasure show; girl meets world. listen, i know it was a disney show, but you can't tell me it isn't amazing.

i was humming along to the theme song as i heard my door creek open. knowing there wasn't many options on who could be in my room i didn't bother to look up.

the bed dipped in as the person sat next to me.

"i gotta admit, this show is honestly really good." they spoke up.

i looked up with excitement on my face as i made eye contact with shawn.

i nodded vigorously at him, "i know! and they're all so sweet."

"are you riley?" he asked.

"i don't think anyone could ever be riley, she's too precious and unique." i responded, looking down at my screen as girl meets bear continued playing.

i looked back at shawn who was intently watching the screen. "you watch this show?" i asked.

"my sister does, and i like to spend time with her. so i've caught on." he explained and i nodded along.

"are you lucas?" i questioned, mimicking his earlier question.

"no, i'm not mr. perfect. i guess i relate to zay the best, though."

i hummed at his response, "i love zay." i said softly.

we both made our selves more comfortable so we could keep on watching. he ended sitting in the same position as me with our sides pressed together as the laptop layed half on my right leg and half on his left leg.

"you could be riley," he spoke up quietly. i turned to look at him and raised my eyebrow up, confused.

"i think you're just as unique and precious as she is. plus, you're caring and forgiving in the same way." i smiled at his words and looked at him in awe. "you and her both have that spark that everyone likes about them." he finished.

"you're not any of them." i thought outloud. he gave me a look with a mixture of confusion and hurt.

"you're not mr. perfect, you're not a genius, and you're not a joker. you're like a perfect mix.  you're handsome and you know dumb random trivia, but you're also funny and sweet." i continued and the previous look on his face was replaced with a pleased one as he grinned once i finished talking.

"yeah, you're definitely riley." he finally said. i shook my head and laughed at loud at his words.

"if i'm riley, then maybe you are lucas." i grinned back. he smiled as he realized the connotation of my words.

we continued watching in a comfortable silence.

once we finished our second episode he hit pause before the third could play.

"you've been in here all day, are you feeling okay?" he asked, seeming to remember the reason he came into my room in the first place.

"yeah," i nodded, "i just wasn't feeling it today, and didn't want to bring anyone down with my funk."

he nodded in understanding at my reasoning.

"i leave for my next show in three days." he brought up. i sighed at his words, knowing that once he left the house would feel empty with just me and the jacks. and he would be leaving right when we got back to being on good terms, it's funny how things work out that way.

"speaking of," he continued, "don't you need to go back to texas for school?"

i shook my head as i realized i had forgotten to tell him. "a couple days ago me and my mom decided it would be best if i switched to online. i always did better working by myself anyway, and this way i'm a little more free to do what i want. she knows i like this kinda new life i have with all of you guys, and she respects it. so i'm here with the jacks for awhile, or until they decide they don't want me anymore." i joked.

"i doubt it, gilinsky wouldn't let that happen." he replied.

"do you ever wish you didn't always have to leave?" i asked, curiously.

"every day, but this, this is my dream. there are days when my shoulders get heavy and i feel like it would be better if this wasn't what i always did. but then everytime i step on the stage, it amazes me. and i realize there's nothing in the world i would rather be doing. singing is everything to me, it always has been." he concluded. i could see the truth in his eyes as he thought about his career.

"it's crazy to think that if your vines wouldn't have blown up that we wouldn't know each other."

"i'm really, really glad that we do." he responds, the same truth still in his eyes as i look at him.

"me too, shawn." i say. looking down and making the quick decision to grab his hand with mine, before i could psych myself out of it. he doesn't seem shocked and just smiles as he intertwines our fingers. "i've learned a lot from knowing you, things about myself that i wouldn't know otherwise. even if it's been hard, i wouldn't take any of it back." i continue.

"i'm glad you wouldn't, because i wouldn't either, leena. thanks for coming to my show that summer." he squeezed my hand.

"thanks for needing a fake girlfriend." i squeezed back. at this point the netflix and laptop had been left long forgotten and was moved to the foot of the bed. we now sat crisscrossed, facing each other, our hands resting on his knee.

"since you haven't done anything today, do you want to go grab some boba at that place near by and stop by the beach?" he asked.

i quickly agreed and stood up, telling him i needed thirty minutes to get ready before we went.

we stood by my bedroom door as i tried to rush him out.

"hey, no need to be aggressive!" he ran his hand on his arm after i shoved him.

"do you want me to go out looking dead?" i countered.

"alright, alright. i'm leaving." he said as he finally started to walk out the door.

"finally, thanks." i said, sarcastically.

"you have forty five minutes, don't be late for our date." he quickly said, and with that he headed down the hall to his room leaving me in mine.

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i'm on a gmw kick right now so i had to add some in :-)
BUUTTT i wanted to let y'all all know that i decided i want to finally make a youtube channel and i want to do a q&a for my first video. so if you guys could leave me questions in the comments so y'all can get to know me better if you're interested i would really appreciate it and i'll try to answer them all
i love you guys 💞
-jas