learn. // shawnmendes

six.

it was the morning after my date with wes and i was cooking breakfast for the people in the house. as i was cracking an egg into the hot pan i heard footsteps come up behind me.

"so, when are you and wes going out again?" asked the voice that i recognized as shawn's.

"we aren't. he said i needed to patch things up with someone else first." i replied while putting the eggs onto the plates.

he hummed, "i can't imagine who that would be."

"yeah, it's a mind blower." i replied with equal sarcasm.

he paused for a few seconds before responding. "what does he think needs to be fixed?" he asked and i turned to look at him.

he was looking at his hands as he stood next to the table. i leaned back onto the counter and crossed my arms.

"he said there was just something unresolved between us, and there is. maybe there always will be. but if either of us wants to move on we have to really talk about this, about what happened between us."

"okay let's talk about it," he started, "i screwed shit up, really bad, like the worst ive ever done in my life and i wish i could go back and fix it. but i don't have a time turner and this isn't harry potter , so the best i can do is tell you that i'm so sorry. i am more sorry for this than i have ever been." he stopped and took a breath, waiting to hear my reply.

"i'm sorry too. maybe i should have listened to jules, she told me what this was from the beginning and i chose not to listen. it's unfair to only blame you when i'm the one in charge of my actions and feelings. i know you're trying the fix this, and maybe if i step back and stop being a bitch, we can find enough tape to patch this crack, together." i reply, and look at him, seeing how he'll react.

"i'd like that." he says softly.

"okay, good." and then i think about what i just said and continue, "but like not together together, you know? like friend together, because i think jack would kill one of us and wes kinda thinks i have a thing for him and i think so too so i kinda wanna see where that goes. but i also want things to get fixed with us and maybe we're meant to be or something but even if we are it can wait right? because i don't think i'm ready for that and we should start slow-" i rant on before he puts a hand up and stops me.

"leena, breathe! right now, it's the slower the better. things will work out how they should in the end."

i smile and nod in agreement.

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so on a scale of 1-10 how much do you all hate me? i know it has LITERALLY been 17 years and i am so sorry but I had lost all inspiration for future chapters and didn't want to put out some bs chapters and i gave myself a break but then idk what happened but i literally forget about this until i randomly started getting notifications from wattpad like 2 weeks ago and I debated whether or not to even bother writing more but i think you guys want it so here I am???? i don't know how this is gonna go and what not but im going to give this all a shot again and i hope I don't let y'all down. i still have all the love,
jasmin