learn. // shawnmendes

fifteen.

ps thanks for 100k reads on learn 💛

"i'm hungry as hell, who wants to go get food?" gilinsky asked, as soon as the lights went up after shawn performed his last song.

johnson and sammy quickly agreed and they all turned to hear my response.

"no, i think i'll go back and see shawn since we leave soon. so let me know when you guys are done eating, okay?" i confirmed with them.

"okay, see you later leens." sammy responded and i shot him back a smile before they walked with the same security guard down the steps.

i quickly started to make my way towards the side stage, dodging my way between all the fans before i was finally met with another guard and i realized i had no form of proof that would let me into the back stage area. 

i felt a light panic start to rise in me until the guard realized i was in front of him and spoke to me first.

"you're leena right?" he questioned me.

his question stunned me for a second before i made myself reply. "yes, that's me!"

"shawn showed me a picture and said i should let you in, but for future reference for the two of you, you should have the pass that's let's you go in without trouble." he told me with a joking scorn.

"will do, thank you so much." i rushed through the door he opened.

i looked around and tried to remember the way to get to where shawn had been before.

i didn't have time to fully retrace my steps when i felt two hands land on my shoulders. i let out a little squeak before turning to see the culprit; who was of course, shawn.

"enjoy the show?" he asks, full of energy, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

my face lit up in a warm smile at the sight of him so excited. "of course i did. you couldn't put on a bad show if you were being payed a million dollars to."

he smiled and then grabbed my arm, pulling me in the direction of, i assume, the room we had in been in earlier in the night.

once we made it into the familiar area we arranged our selves back into the couch. i set my legs onto shawn's lap, my legs on somebody's lap is one of my favorite positions, clearly. as he rested his arm over them.

"anyone recognize you in the crowd?" he spoke up.

"the guys yes, of course. and i think a couple recognized me, but no one said anything." i shrugged, "which is honestly a lot easier and less stressful for me."

he nodded in understanding and laid his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.

i let out a laugh, "two minutes ago you looked like you just downed twenty eight red bull's and now you're all sleepy?" i joked.

"twenty eight red bull's and i would be dead. hospitalized atleast." he countered.

"fair enough." i replied.

i mimicked his head resting position and the two of us rested from the hectic night.

i was on the border of sleep when shawn lightly tapped my leg and i hummed in response, too lazy to go through the trouble of formulating words.

"you know i'm in this right?" he stated, his tone a form of seriousness i hadn't heard from him often.

i sat up and rested my head in my hands, looking up at him.

"in what, shawn?" i asked quietly, wanting to know we were both on the same page before i said anything that made me seem like i was misreading our situation.

"you and me. with no secret girlfriends or crazy managers this time. this time you and me is just gonna be you and me. we don't need any of the extra stuff to complicate it, the two of us is enough for me." he still had his arms on my legs and his grip tightened on one.

"even if it's hard?" i tilted my head.

"even then. fifty six year old me would be pissed if he looked back and realized i didn't put my all into trying to be with you, all real this time."

at his words i looked up at him in such awe of the person he was and how he always managed to make me like him more, no matter what he said.

"shawn, you and me, this is it. it's what we've been going for since the beginning. since you sang to me on your roof, and got jealous when i went out with wes, and when you gave me this necklace." i felt my hand instinctively wrap around it again. "this is it. well it's not it but i know us and we don't do things half heartedly. and honestly imagine telling our grandkids that we made it together because i was hired to be your fake girlfriend. and oh my god i just talked about grandkids and we haven't even kissed again. and i need to shut up i'm talking too much and out of breath." i finally cut myself off by putting my hand over my mouth and saw shawn looking at me. his eyes held the same awe that mine did and i let out an embarrassed laugh.

he didn't let me stay embarrassed for long before he jumped into his reply, and bless him for the sweetness he has in him.

"but you're right." he leaned forward and grabbed my hands. "this is it. and i'm a year older now and i'd like to think that in that year i've grown and i've learned. i know you now and you know me. i know what a relationship is and i know what that should feel like. i know that that's what i feel about you. and maybe this isn't it in the meaning that it'll last forever, but it could. or it couldn't and i could still look back and know that i gave us the shot we deserved, and i gave you the relationship you deserved. leena, im all in this. and us being us, we can do this our way, we've never been ones to follow what others say so why would we start now? this is all us, how it should've been in the first place." at the end of his statement i felt small tears welling up in my eyes from my over flowing emotions.

"shawn, i've been all in this for the longest time." he didn't even give me the chance to let out my speech like he had before he was pulling to him for another kiss.

and in that moment i realized what people mean when they say this is worth fighting for. all the fights and difficulties don't compare the warmth i feel in my chest when shawn tries to draw me impossibly closer than i am, and when i feel his lips smiling into the kiss.

whatever was going to happen with shawn and i was worth fighting for.

*****
i love them so much my sweet innocent babies i hope you guys enjoyed 💓 we're finally getting the shawn and leena y'all deserve (also can we make a ship name for them? it's time!!)
love you guys so much always thank you for always reading, it means the world
-jas