learn. // shawnmendes

eleven.

authors note: i never do these at the beginning so this is weird but i started a new story ??? and it's about kj apa so if you like riverdale go check it out ;) i already love it and also y'all are probably gonna get either a double update today or another update tomorrow so yay!! love y'all 💞 -jas

i was sitting at a desk in my room looking at myself in the mirror as i blended my eyeshadow.

i paused for a minute when i heard quick footsteps going down the stairs like someone was running, and the door closing. i wonder who's leaving the house?

i shook my head and went back to focusing on my makeup and thinking to myself.

it's actually quite funny how me and shawn work.

but shawn has this something about him that just makes you want to be around him. he's also good with words and conversation once you get him out of his shell and he is comfortable enough to talk to you.

shawn is one of those people i could sit down and talk to for hours and not get bored, either because we're having a good conversation or because we're arguing. but that's the way things go.

whenever i get into these moments where i think about shawn for and awhile it always makes me sad considering how bad we started off.

on the other hand, it also makes me happy to think of how we have grown since that and learned that it's good for both of us if the other is around. as much as shawn can make me want to chop all my fingers off, twice, he also makes me laugh and feel those fifth grade butterflies once in awhile. considering our history, i don't know if having feelings for shawn is the best decision i can make for myself, but i'm too much of a hopeless romantic to care.

my thoughts are interrupted by my bedroom door opening to show jack in the doorway.

"what're you humming over there?" he asks as he moves to sit in the edge of my bed to look at me.

"flights, what else?" i joke back at him and he groans while remembering the jacks' old music.

"don't you dare, flights is my favorite!" i exclaim, throwing one of my less important makeup brushes at him.

he dodges it and gives me an overly hurt expression, "what's with the abuse?!"

i roll my eyes before replying, "you're such a baby. but what's up, que deasa?" i asked, knowing he came into my room with a purpose.

"oh, i was going to ask if you were doing anything or if you wanted to hang out, you've been in here awhile." he asks me.

"awh, im sorry g, i'm supposed to go out with shawn once i'm ready." i respond as i look at him with a frown.

"when are you supposed to be ready?" he asks, looking extremely confused.

i quickly press the home button on my phone so i can check the time.

"actually, like now." i state, quickly giving my self a last look in my mirror and then standing up.

jack stands up with me and still has a confused expression on his face.

"why do you look like that?" i ask while studying his face.

he scratches his head and looks at me, "you know that shawn just left, right?"

i furrow my eyebrows, "what? why would he leave?" i almost demand and i can hear the hurt in my voice. i already have different scenarios going on in my head. did he not want to go on our date? he's the one that called it a date! why didn't he just tell me instead of leaving me hanging? i force myself to calm down and not jump to conclusions before focusing my attention back to the boy in front of me.

jack almost cringes at my tone, as he's not a fan of conflict or arguing, and i immediately feel bad but still can't help but have an attitude in this moment.

"he was on the phone with his manager, or maybe jules?.....i don't remember it was someone and it seemed important. he told johnson that there was something they needed him for, like now. and then he just left, more like ran but didn't you hear that? that's who left the house." he explained to me.

at that exact moment i felt my phone vibrate in my hand and i looked down at my message.

shawn🍯: i'm so so sorry, ill explain later and make it up to u

i left the message in read when i realized that's all i would be receiving from him for now.

i let out a loud sigh and fell back onto my bed and jack followed behind me.

jack let me sit in silence for a minute while i collected myself.

"this was supposed to be a date." i broke the silence.

"i'm sorry." was his reply.

"something always sets us back, like the universe hates us together. being here with you guys we kinda found our good territory again, and now i don't even know. it just sucks, to say the least." i say softly, letting my emotions out.

he's silent for a few beats and then speaks, "things will work out. he wouldn't have left if it wasn't for a good reason. we both know he's too good for that and he cares too much about you to leave you hanging." he comforts, trying to make me feel better, although it seems to bother him to say the words.

"yeah, i know. sometimes i just wonder why we, or i, can't catch a break. but i guess it isn't his fault, i'll be okay. mutter, closing my eyes.

"you sure?" he checks.

"one hundred percent. i get too emotional sometimes and i don't want to jump to conclusions on him, so for once i'm just going to let this play out and see what happens." i shrug and then close my eyes to try to clear my thoughts.

****
him having to leave all serves a purpose so don't worry ;)