learn. // shawnmendes

nine.

"THIS SHIRT COST ME THIRTY SEVEN DOLLARS AND EIGHTY ONE CENTS!" i yelled as i looked down at the oil stain on my shirt.

"this cookie mix cost me two dollars and fifty cents." was the matter of fact response i received.

"jack gilinsky, one day i am going to kill you and as you beg for mercy i am going to remind you of this day."

"yeah, yeah, little one, you couldn't hurt a fly." he said, patting my head like a child's.

"i am not that much younger than you!" i argued.

"mhm, tell me more." he responded sarcastically, while putting a spoon full of cookie dough in his mouth.

"what seems to be all the commotion down here?"

me and jack both turn to see shawn in the doorway of the kitchen.

"we need new friends, is the problem." i reply, shooting a glare at jack.

"as tempting as that sounds i'm going to need more background information before i can agree with you." he chuckled.

"he flicked a spoon of oil at me! oil! this shirt costs money!" i said exasperatedly.

"jack will you buy her a new shirt?" he asked, turning towards the guilty party.

jack threw his hands up in response, "not until she finishes making the cookies!"

"why can't you make the cookies!?" i demand.

"it was your idea!"

shawn shook his head at the two of us. "alright, leena, i'll help finish the cookies with you, and in the meantime jack can go order you a new shirt. deal?" he raises his eyebrows at me.

"yeah, yeah. make sure it's something cute." i say in jack's direction.

jack mumbles something under his breathe that i can't interpret as he walks out to find his laptop.

"he's like twelve." i whine, once he's out of earshot.

"he's also like, your best friend, so i think you'll deal." he smiles at me.

"that's why i said i need new friends!" i say, knowing he's right.

he starts shaping the dough i made into small circles and setting them down on a cookie sheet. "i, for one, think you have wonderful and extremely talented friends. like that shawn mendes guy, he seems amazing to be friends with."

i shake my head at him and jump onto the counter and start helping him with the cookies. "eh, he's alright." i joke.

we focus on the cookies for awhile until they're ready to be put in the oven. once shawn closes the oven door and i set the timer, i go back to my sitting position on the kitchen counter.

"shawn, can i ask you something?" i speak up, remembering something that's been on my mind.

"of course." he responds quickly.

"you and that girl, the one you were dating. what happened?" i continued, realizing that i never really knew what happened with them after all the drama.

"laur?" i nod in response. "it uh, didn't work out. it was one of those things that you kinda always knew was gonna happen, you know? like childhood friends whose families were close and everyone wanted them to date. i liked her, but i felt like it was more about pleasing the people around me than being in a relationship with someone. it wasn't what i needed for the long run." he shrugged once he finished.

i studied his face for a moment before i opened my mouth to speak.

"you seem to have a problem with getting in relationships for other people's benefit and not your own."

he laughs at loud at my words, "tell me about it."

"i don't know," he continues, "that's the way it is when you grow up like this, i guess. always hoping the fans are happy and don't hate whoever i'm with. hoping management doesn't interfere, or that paparazzi doesn't take things out of hand. i hope one day i get to be in a relationship that's for me, you know? not for anyone else, no matter what might happen." he looks at the ground sadly.

i turn my head at him, looking at shawn in a different light as i process his words.

"i hope you do too, shawn." i start softly. "i hope you get something that is worth all of it in the end, that makes you forget about what people like jules say, or what might pop up on your twitter feed. someone so amazing that she makes you forget your own name when you're with her. i hope you get that." i finish, looking him straight in the eye.

it's his turn to study my face now, his eyes are filled with something i can't exactly put my finger on, something i've never seen with him before. it isn't until now that i realize he's standing beside my legs and his body is leaning into the sides of my legs, and our faces are closer than they should be.

he looks like he's about to speak before we both jump at the sound of the microwave timer going off. my breathe hitches as he turns to grab an oven mitt and remove the cookies.

the smell of the cookies immediately has everyone else in the house crowding the kitchen to get some before they're gone.

i bite my own cookie and look at shawn who is joking with johnson about how he makes the best cookies ever when i sadly realize something was left unsaid between the two of us.

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hello my loves, i was going to update earlier today but i started to feel sick so here it is a little later hope you guys liked it 💞 all the love in the world
-jas