Rainbooms and Royalty

Fancy Schmancy Parties

“Announcing Her Royal Majesty, Princess Celestia!” Among the trumpets and fanfare, Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. Another night, another boring function. She cast a quick, envious look out the window. It was a beautiful night, perfect for flying. She could be practicing her Sonic Rainboom right now! Even after all these years, her inability to repeat her epic triumph still ate at her. Instead of working to correct that, she had to waste the night indoors at some fancy pants party for a bunch of rich snobs.

Princess Celestia gave her a gentle nudge with her wings and a quick look. Rainbow gave a silent sigh and a nod. She’d promised her mentor she’d be good tonight (neither one of them wanted a repeat of Prince Blueblood’s birthday party). Without another word, Princess Celestia gracefully strode out and elegantly walked down the stairs to the lukewarm, tepid applause that the upper-class thought showed proper appreciation.

Rainbow Dash, still hidden behind the curtains at the top of the stairs, sarcastically mouthed the next words she knew she’d be hearing. “…and student!” Fighting the urge to bristle her feathers, Rainbow Dash walked out on her cue…and promptly flapped her wings once and performed a somersault jump that took her to the bottom of the stairs in one leap.

She was greeted with awkward murmurs and stairs from the party goers who quickly found someplace else to look rather than her. “Wouldn’t know a good performance if it bucked them in the face.” Dash muttered as she walked over to the horse-do-over table. Actually it was properly called the Hors d'oeuvre table but Rainbow Dash couldn’t for the life of her figure out how you spelled it one way and spoke it in a way that didn’t even come close to matching it.

Dash tried sampling the tiny morsels available and had to fight the urge to gag. How the hay did ponies convince themselves that they liked these? What was wrong with a hayburger and fries?

“Rainbow Dash!” She perked her head up at Princess Celestia’s voice. “Could you come over here please?”

“Sure thing!” She called back; ignoring the disapproving stares and sniffs at her uncouth familiarity and impropriety, not to mention her lack of formal attire (or any attire for that matter). As Rainbow Dash nimbly worked her way through the crowd she couldn’t help pick up on snippets of conversations.

“…well I never…

“The nerve!”

“Princess Celestia deserves better…”

“Frightfully uncouth!”

“…a young ruffian and hooligan!”

Dash arrived to find the Princess with a pair of unicorns, one with a blue mustache and a monocle that Rainbow found funny and kinda cool all at the same time and a white and pink beauty who looked like she hadn’t eaten since last summer. “Ah, you’re here! Rainbow Dash, I would like you to meet Fancy Pants and Fleur de lis.”

Rainbow silently mouthed to the Princess, ‘Fancy Pants?’ Seriously? That was his name? He didn’t even wear any pants!

“Charmed to make your acquaintance my dear!” Fancy smiled gallantly, bowing to her.

“Uh yeah, ditto.” Rainbow fought the impulse to facehoof. No matter how hard she tried she could never make herself sound classy at these lame events. Celestia brought her hoof up to her face, trying to quickly obscure a grin. Fancy Pants chuckled.

“I must say you do make for a breath of fresh air!” He winked. “I dare say you do add some much needed color to these proceedings.” With a gentle gesture he raised Rainbow Dash’s hoof to his muzzle and gently kissed it. “So glad you could make it.”

Her cheeks lit up with a bright blush. “Thanks.” Her voice broke into an embarrassed squeak. She cleared her throat. “So, um, nice party?”

“My thanks, but I think we both know that it is not the liveliest party.” Fancy Pants gave a droll chuckle. “I’m sure you’ve been to much more festive soirées, haven’t you?”