9:03 pm- January 23rd; 1 hour left on Earth:
You can't take being alive anymore, the urge to just jump out a window is unbearable. You decide it's the perfect time to do it. You say to your parents downstairs that you are going to take a shower then go to bed,
"Goodnight, I love you guys." You say, trying to hold back tears.
"We love you too, (F/N)." Your father says with a smile.
You casually walk around the corner and break out into silent tears as your rush up stairs into your room. You get undressed and into your robe to go to the bathroom, towels and razor in hand. You turn on the shower and take a deep breath before going in, first setting aside the razor at a arms length away. You do your normal shower routine like usual, but emotionless. Most people at this point would think you're balling your eyes out, about to face death, but your emotionless. You can't even feel that satisfaction of actually going through with this finally.
10:00 pm- January 23rd; 3 minutes left on Earth:
You finally get the courage to finally do it. You take the razor. You don't care what happens to you anymore, you don't care of you feel any pain, you just want to be happy. But, the only way to feel happy is to die.
The razor plummets to your arm as it caresses your skin, blood gushing out of your wrists. You work the razor like a butcher, not realizing what you where doing. But you do realize. You realize how much blood there is.
*Panic*
You start to regret this, you want to live! You want to live! YOU WANT TO LIVE!
But, you can't be saved now...
"MOM!!" You yell as you're putting on your robe.
You feel dizzy and can't walk straight anymore, you can barely walk at all.
"(F/N) ARE YOU OK?!" Your mom tells back as she's running up the straits.
You try walking towards her but walking turns to crawling. Crawling turns to collapsing. Collapsing turns to darkness.
Regret... "I want to live..."
10:03 pm- January 23rd; 0 minutes left on Earth
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I just wanted to but this note here saying yes, time maybe tough, but shit gets better. Once you hit adulthood and are able to move out, you get this freedom of being able to do what you want and not have people holding you down. If you or someone you know is feeling like this, please tell me. My kik is deathchic9.
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!PERSONAL NOTE!
As some of people may not know, but I did base this story of my own experiences and feelings. I do know that some of my close friends and loved ones have seen I have been pretty down lately and are worried about me because they do read this. I just wanted to say 👀❤🍑💦 (I love dat ass) and that I don't plan on doing this anytime now or in the near future. So, we all gotta stay strong all together, people reading this and friends reading this, because people do care about you. AND DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY THEY DON'T BECAUSE IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY, please talk to me, I care about you.
-Jo ✌❤
