A Fatal Passion Forged In Black ~Motionless In White

~ Chapter 7 ~

Abigail's POV

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The scene of what just happened keeps replaying in my mind, but I can't grasp it. It doesn't feel real. I stay silent the whole way back to the dorms. My mind isn't in the right place to say anything right now. I feel disgusting.  We arrive at the dorms and Ricky comes around to open the door for me. I could have opened it for myself, but I'm too paralyzed to move. He puts his arm around my waist to help me walk. The thought of anyone's hands on me right now is terrifying, but for some reason, I trust him. 'You're fucking crazy, after all he's done to you'  I think to myself, but ignore it.

We stop in front of the door to my room. Funny, I don't even remember telling him what floor I live on. My brain just absolutely refuses to catch up with what's happening. Ricky hands me my bag and I dig out my key. Once I get the door open, I mindlessly walk over to my bed and sit down. I pull my knees into my chest and realization kicks in. Tears stream down my cheeks. I feel the weight of someone sit down on the bed and a hand being placed on my shoulder and I flinch away. I look up to see Ricky, who looks almost hurt. Why is he still here?

"Shh, you're okay. You're safe now." He says calmly. I wipe away my tears and attempt to calm myself down.

"I'm sorry this all happened to you, I'm so sorry," he says and his voice cracks. I give him a confused look before standing up. I grab some clothes to change into after I get out of the shower. I don't like the thought of ever leaving this room, but I need to try to wash away the memory of his skin on mine.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," I state flatly, not really expecting him to care. He nods and I walk out the door.

Once I get in the shower, I turn the water as hot as it will go. It burns like hell, but I don't really care. No matter how long I scrub, I can't wash the feeling away. I lean up against the wall and start to cry again. That's all I ever do. Cry. I'm just a big crybaby.

When I get out, I still feel dirty but I feel a bit better. I walk back up to my dorm and jump when I see Ricky still sitting on my bed. He doesn't realize that I'm back until I shut the door and he jumps. When he looks up at me, his eyes are red and puffy. I walk in and sit down on the opposite bed awkwardly.

After a fee moments I decide to break the silence. "Why,"

He looks at me, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Why did you...help me?"

"What?"

"You could have just left me there, you know. But you didn't. Why?"

He seems almost hurt by my question. "Seriously? There would be no way in hell I would just leave you there. No one deserves that."

I scoff at his answer. "So I don't deserve to be raped, but I deserve to be tortured every single day of my pathetic life? Right."

His face falls. A tear escapes his eye, but he wipes it away quickly. "Abigail, I know you would never forgive me. You didn't deserve that, you really didn't. It was never meant to go that far. Believe it or not, I really do care about you, Abby. I always have. It may have never seemed that way, hell, I know it never seemed that way, but I do. I will never have any reason to excuse why I did that to you. I will never forget the pain I put you and your brother through. I will never forgive myself, and I don't expect you to, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And with that, he holds his face in his hands and starts to cry. I'm speechless.