Chemo Therapy during 3rd Period

January 26

My mom and I didn't sleep at al last night. Around 1 am we both came into the living room hoping to watch tv till we fell asleep, but insteAd we stayed up talking. My mom and I have always been really close. My dad and I are close when he is in town. He is a businessman for a stock company and he has clients across the nation. When I called and told him about my cancer diagnosis, I had to leave a voicemail. Pretty typical. My cancer support group during my last session explained what to bring and what not to bring. Some of them even said they would come visit me.
6:30a.m. - my mom and I load everything in the car to head to the hospital.
7:00 a.m. -we arrive at the hospital.
7:15-30 a.m.- I am shown my room it looks out over the city of Seattle. It's raining. No surprise.
7:45 a.m. - my pick line is inserted. My heart is now monitored. As well as my oxygen level.
8:00 a.m. - the start of first period. My grandma shows up. Ever since grandpa died 3 years ago from a heart attack, she spends a lot of time with mom and I. She brought me a coloring book and some markers. I ask them if we can go for a walk. I slide on my slippers and we walk down the halls. Each room I glance through the windows. Seeing people throw up. Watching families cry. Watching nurses inject patients with who knows what. We start to head back to my room. The no sleep from last Night is weighing on me. I ask my mom if I can just take a nap. Her and grandma go down to get coffee. I doze off staring out the window watching the rain run down the window.

It's noon when I finally wake up. Dad is here just staring at me. He comes over and goes to run his hands through my hair but stops. He asks me how I am feeling and I say " like anyone would with a messed up liver. " he just stares at me. My phone buzzes. I pick it up. It's Kate video chatting with me.
"Hey Spencer we miss you!"
"Hi!"
"So any hot male nurses?"
Right as they say that one of the nurses comes in.
She says" No but she has me!"
I laugh.
"Sorry to bother your video chat but Spencer we need to go over tomorrow and how everything will work. I will tell the doctor to give you 5 minutes."
I nod. It's time for reality to really hit. I say goodbye to the girls. My doctor comes in. Her name is Doctor HOmer. But she prefers to be called Jacqueline. She comes in my room and says "who is ready to party?" Then says "and by party I mean go over tomorrow's agenda?"
I raise my hand. My parents are in the room a we listen to the doctor explain how at 10:15 tomorrow morning they will start injecting me with Chemo. Also depending on how tomorrow goes will depend on how soon I start radiation.
3:30p.m. - I am watching season one of Gilmore Girls. Laughing so hard. When I hear A knock on my door. It's Carson. My mom says "hi Carson how are you? How nice of you to visit."
He responds with "hi Mrs. W. I'm not here to visit Spencer. I am here to work with her on our presentation." My mom excuses herself to the family room. He looks at me and says " I didn't bring flowers because I feel like Thai building has enough death. Balloons aren't allowed. I didn't want you to be one do the people the buys the feel better beAr." He sits in the. Chair next to my bed, pulls out his laptop and says "shall we begin."
We start working on our presentation. I keep getting distracted by the Window. He catches me and says " Spencer if you want to stare at me take. Picture already." He laughs. I says "I'm not staring at you. I'm staring outside." Ugh why does he think everything is about him. I hear his phone go off. He keeps typing on the slideshow and about the 8th time his Phone rang I said "answer it. One of you girlfriend probably needs you." He looks at his phone presses ignore and keeps typing. I start getting fidgety. I have been in this bed now for hours and he and I have been working on this for about an hour. I finally say" I'm sorry but I need a break from all off This." He says "fiNally! I have just been staring at the screen. What should we do?" I say lets go on a walk. He and I take a different path than what grandma, mom and I took earlier. We walk in silence for awhile. He says "liver cancer, right?" "Yes that's what I have." "Ok. Well, we play south high on Friday." I look at him, did he just switch subjects from my health to basketball. "Also I brought with me the Spanish assignment from today and the notes. "
"Thanks Carson. But all the teachers email me the notes and assignments."
We get back to my room and I decide to sit in a chair. I can't believe I'm about to say this but "so are you nervous about Friday?" I'm actually stooping myself to talk about Carson to Carson.
"I'm nervous. But also I'm pretty pumped. Their guard I hear is on academic probation. He is failing senior health."
I laugh. "How does one fail health?"
"I don't know. Everyone at school talks about you. Your friends Taylor and Kate, make sure that there are no tumors about you."
"Yeah they are pretty cool. I miss school. It's only been a day. I miss my team."
"I don't mean to sound rude, but don't focus on that. You are going to beat cancer, but there's also a chance you won't. You need all the strength you can to keep living your fearless cool life."
"We Did you just call me cool?"
"Don't let it get to your head."
One of the nurses comes in and says "I hate to interrupt but I need to ask you to say goodbye to your friend Spencer. You need your rest."
Carson gathers his things and says to my nurse "do you mind taking picture of us?" I smooth down my hair. Which I just now realize I have no make-up on and I having brushed my hair. He looks at me And says " I don't have all day Spencer." The picture is taken and he leaves. My nurse looks at me and says" you two are so cute" before I can defend myself she leaves.

10:00 p.m.- quiet hours. I stalk Carson Snapchat and low and behold that picture of us is on their with the caption "fight hard" i just smile and roll over to look at my mom. She is exhausted and won't leave me. I know this is hard for her. Seeing my dad, wasn't helpful he was here for only an hour then left. She has acted as a single parent since I was 10. I feel so bad for her. But behind her I see the Seattle skyline lighting up. Rain drop running down my window.