Chemo Therapy during 3rd Period

February 29

My godmother and I both slept through our alarms today. We spent last night talking about life, she gets me in a way my mother never really could. Kathy, is my mom's best friend hands down. She gives my mom the truth and is always there to help. I haven't seen her in awhile, maybe 2ish months. She got married young and divorced about 2 years ago. She had 2 kids but they were killed in a car accident about 5 or so years ago. This morning I "ran around" getting ready finally, I left my house. I was only 4 minutes late to school. One of the ultra sweet office ladies debating giving me a tardy slip, but she did. I went to class and sat there and listened and then the teacher called on me and I just froze. Couldn't remember the question but answered and was actually right. Finally that class was over and I was sitting there in my desk. Which was actually pretty cool because I don't really have to wipe down my desk this period. Since I sit there 2 periods in a row.

I turn my head and walking through the door is Carson. Like I'm sure I looked dumb because I just stared at him. But for you to understand this you need to know. Carson is a t-shirt Jean and tennis shoe kind of guy. Occasionally he wears a tie but that's only because of sports. Anyway back to the moment, his hair is done really nice. Like he did more than just roll out of bed. He has a blue flannel on. I LOVE THE COLOR BLUE AND FLANNELS. He has nice jeans on and looks really good. LIKE REALLY GOOD. I said "wow Carson"
Either the teacher or I made a comment that he actually showered and that's all I remember plus his blue eyes popped. OMG IT WAS SO CUTE. The thought just now crossed my mind... Was he trying to impress somebody? Was that somebody me?
Who knows...

History class... We took a test. I got a 75%. I passed! After the test, a new project was announced. "The decade project" the whole time I was on the edge of my seat hoping to get one of my friends: Carson, Klaire or Taylor. Annnndddd I got..... Andrew. But at least this guy is super smart and funny and chill. But like every person he has one bad quality he is dating this girl named Mckenzie. We will now flashback where I explain why this is bad.
6th grade. Everyone is discovering themselves. Me included. Mckenzie and I were best friends till a switch flipped and suddenly she started talking crap about me behind my back. She said I was a bitch and fat.
I know what you're thinking the past is the past but still I am leery. Andrew is super pumped to be my partner. yeah.

Day went on as usual. After school, Kathy and I decided to go to the grocery store. She made it fun and interesting. We got dinner afterwards. Apparently my mom called her today. The marriage thing is good. And they are working really hard and airing out what has been swept under the rug. I know what's next. "Spencer, she wants you to come see them this weekend." I want to see my parents don't get me wrong but.. I don't know. Maybe the space between me and them is good. What do I do? She said no decision have to be made yet.

When we got home, I was really tired like more tired then usual. I made the decision to take a nap. While falling asleep, Kathy comes in and says "what are you doing?"
"I'm taking a nap?"
"Why"
"Because I can." I can sense I just made her mad but I can't really focus on that now.

I wake up, because Kathy told me to get up, clean my room and when I'm done we are going to get coffee. I drive us to get coffee. It was an adventure. At the coffee stand, a former classmate of mine is working. He recognizes me and says "Hey Guys!" I see the look in his eyes. He sees my hair, or what's left. He looks at me, then gets back to work. Somehow, cancer still is ruining my life. My good day is brought down back to earth. It starts to rain on our way home. I just watch it pour. I go to my room. Sit in my bay window, with my electric blanket and watch it pour. I feel water on my face. It's my own rain, it's my tears. Tomorrow is the day. I find out. Am I a survivor? Or am I a fighter waiting for her next match?