Chemo Therapy during 3rd Period

March 13

I sit here in a hospital bed. Looking around the room, this place is all too familiar for me. So many memories in this hospital. Today was the weirdest day of my life, hands down. First of all I have been readmitted into the hospital. There was fear among Kathy and Jacqueline that maybe my vitals were too low. There needed to be tests done and there is talk of a bone marrow transplant. One problem, they think my parents could be my donor. Kathy called them and they rejected her call. How low is that?? I am their daughter. Well I am supposed to be sitting in third period. Michael and Kate and Taylor are all at school. Living their lives. I AM SO SICK OF CANCER! But that's a news flash. Heres where things get weird. Last night my parents showed up at the hospital. Both of them. They walked in on Kathy, Michael, and I playing games and eating dinner and Michael and I holding hands. I have never seen my parents so confused. Here their daughter sat and it looked like they could not even recognize me.
Michael stood up and, asked if he could help them. My dad responded with take your hand off my daughter. I guess I never told Michael the truth about my parents. Everyone assumed my parents had just moved away and that we still talked. No one knew that they have given up their rights of me. Before anyone can say anything Aunt Kathy stands up and tells my parents this wasn't part of the deal. She  is about to take them out into the hallway. I looked at my mom she has tear filled eyes, I can't believe she is about to cry. Like really mom. I tell them Michael and I will go for a walk. I grab his hand and we walk out.
"So that wasn't the ideal first impression."
Awkward silence. We walked some more. I'm holding onto my IV cart like it's my anchor. We walk until the end of the hall.  There's a bench by the window at the end of the hall. We sit there and I let out a heavy sigh. I put my head on his shoulder and I lose it. Every ounce of my that was contained, lost. Shit hit the fan, while the fan was on high. I felt my body shake.
-"I'm so sorry Michael."
"It's okay. I forgive you."
-"no it's not okay. I let you get yourself in this shit storm. I haven't seen my parents in about a year. They signed their rights to me away. They let me get emancipated. They walked away from me. I can't believe my dad, who is he to tell you that you can't hold my hand."
"Spencer..."
-" if you want out it's okay. I understand. I'm dying. I'm going to lose my hair. I lose blood like girls lose bobby pins. I'm not going to be the same person anymore."
He kneels down in front of me.
"Spencer, I love you. I'm not going to leave you.  I had no idea about your parents. You are so amazing. I wish you could see that. You are so beautiful."
He's fighting back the tears. I laugh. He laughs.
We just sit there on the bench. He looks at me and says "do you know how uncomfortable this bench is?"
-"yeah but it's better than being with my parents and Kathy in the same room."
We turn and look down the hall. We see my mom standing there like a statue staring at me. She is shedding tears like Niagara Falls. She blows me a kiss. I just stare at her. My dad walks out of my room and looks at me. He waves. I lift my hand up to wave back. I feel my tears coming back. Part of me wanted to run down that hallway and hug them. I can't though. I scream their names but no one hears me.
I wake up. That whole thing was a dream. I wake up in the hospital. I look around. That was so scary. OMG. I look around. I can't believe that was all a dream. I look at my phone 2:38 a.m. I text Kate she is always up at this hour. She has this theory that creativity comes at all hours. I kind you not she once stayed up till 6:00 a.m finishing a piece then walk up at 7:00 and went to a full day of school.
Me: hey what up? You awake?
K: yes. Gotta finish this piece for the contest.
Me: whatcha painting?
K: this building from Europe.
Me: I had a dream about my parents
K: that's a true nightmare
Me: no shit Sherlock
K: how ya feeling?
Me: I've been better. I'm hoping to start a new round of chemo tomorrow.
K: I thought you couldn't do chemo?
Me: well they want to try this kind. Since we aren't fighting liver cancer anymore they think that this might help. If not I'm going to need a bone marrow transplant. But I don't have a donor yet.
K: do you think I could donate?
Me: Idk it all depends on if you are a match?
K: do I have to take a test?
Me: ya. I get Jacqueline to print the paperwork for you tomorrow
K: did you tell Michael?
Me: tell him what?
K: About the no physical contact during chemo rule???
Me: I'm telling him tomorrow.
K: it's going to be okay
Me: how do you know.
K: because God did not send me in this earth equipped for me to say goodbye to you. I need you here. I need you to keep me straight, make me laugh. Tell me everything will be okay. I need you to keep me from doing something dumb. Plus who will Be my art agent if you are gone?
Me: love you too Kate.
K: go to bed you need your rest. Nighty night.