Gerard's Little Sister (COMPLETED)

15. Speechless

Frank's eyes went from eager and responsive to sad and neglected.
"That's where you were last night?" He asked, tears forming in his eyes.
"Yes. I swear, it meant nothing, I told him tha-,"
"It doesn't matter if you say it meant nothing. Obviously it did because you decided to have sex with him even after you dumped him,"
"You don't understand,"
"No, I understand it too well. You saw him, you missed him, so you fucked him. And Scarlett I love you more than anything in this universe and we still haven't had sex yet. It makes me feel like as a boyfriend I didn't do my job right so you went looking for what I wasn't giving you in someone else,"
"No, that's not it."
"Then what is it?"
"It's not that you weren't giving me what I wanted. It's that you were giving me everything I wanted, and Andy once told me that I gave him everything  he wanted. But I robbed him of that by seeing someone else and dumping him over the phone so I wanted him to know that I'm not completely heartless. I loved him. And I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but he needed to know that,"
"Wow. That's more deep than I expected it to be. I just expected to hear something like, "I just really wanted to have sex with him" or something like that. But I'm still hurt. You made love with another man. I'm still contemplating breaking up with you,"
"If you do I get it. I'm a horrible person, I have no idea why you're so in love with me. I dump people over the phone and cheat on them and then hook up with other people and I'm a fucking train wreck. It'll hurt me immensely, but if you dump me I'll understand,"
"You know, Scarlett, I love you. I love you I love you I love you. But I can't get over the fact that you did what you did. I'm not doing this because I hate you, I'm doing this because I love you," there were tears in both of our eyes at this point. I'm such a fucking idiot.
"Scarlett, I can't be with you anymore," Frank said, tears streaming down his face. I cried, just standing there but I knew in my heart that I deserved this.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so so so fucking sorry," I cried as I went back into the bus. As soon as Gerard saw me, he scooped me up in his arms and sat with me on my bunk.
"Breathe, breathe," he said.
"I don't want to breathe, I just want to die,"
"No. Look at me. You're going to get through this. Mikey told me the story. I was prepared for what I was going to tell you. I know you'll miss Frank, but you need to stay true to yourself and keep living life like you normally do. We're here for you, Scarlett. Never forget that," Gerard said, hugging me as I cried. I must've sat there with him for at least an hour, then I got so tired I told him to leave me there in my bunk so I could sleep. I could already feel my heart shattering.