When opposites attract

Trouble

Lola PoV:

I look to the tv not playing attention to what was really going on, only focusing on the selfish pain of myself. Daniel was at work and so was Lily, i even ventured for the support of Mal for these last few days but she was busy today. So i was left alone. Matt hasn't talked with me since our last conversation and all i want is him to talk to me, for him to be here making a stupid narcissist comment, just to have one of his cuddles that always made me feel safe. He always had a way to make me laugh when i couldn't find it in me to smile, even when we go into those stupid wars of arguments His smile was always contagious, no matter how angry or sad i am, all  need is to take one look at his smile and everything looks a little better.

I know that he gets under my skin like no one else can but i find i hard to imagine a time without him in my life, he has become such a main part of my life, I can't imagine my life now without the smell of Links  that lingers on the cotton of our couch cushions or the endless amount of baileys ice cream in our freezer. The food he would always share with me if I was hungry and didn't have any on me even if there wasn't much for himself, His playful smile when telling a joke or the way he always bites the side of his finger right by the nail.

I take another swift glance to his door which hardly ever opens now, he was a best friend to me one of the best things that could happen to me. I don't want anyone else to tell me it's going to be okay i need him to sit down with me just in silence because i can't find the right words to describe how i feel. I need to hear him say it's okay to not be okay that i don't just have to get on with this and carry on my normal life. I don't want a child I've not  wanted a child since i was a teenager watch my mum fade for loosing dad and watcher her deal with her despair of watching her son get thrown into jail. I've never wanted a family after watching mine fall apart.  

I wonder if it's worth messaging someone  else to go out to take my mind off things but i haven't told anyone else because i haven't found the effort of trying to tell Lucy i might be pregnant with her boyfriends child.

Fucking hell I could kill Matt for what he has done, for the trouble he has put me through. How am I supposed to tell my sister that 'Oh I'm sorry but one night I got drunk and had sex with your boyfriend and now I might be pregnant with his child I'm not quite sure.'

I can't believe he didn't tell me, I don't think I can trust him again. No I never want to trust him again it is a waste of time he is just like every other fuck-boy I have met and dear god if this child is his I hope they don't do half the shit that Matt does. Why does he think he can do this to me? He has no right to be mad at me. I'm the only one who gets to be mad and I'm fucking furious.

Matt walks through the door and I can feel the burning of his stare, I know the anger is building up inside of me I can feel the heat getting to my head. I bite my lip in the attempt to calm myself down. I don't know why I let him get to me so much he is such an asshole it frustrates me. I Usain Bolt it out the room hearing the slamming of the door on the way out.