Moon Angel

Chapter 6: Out

Chapter 6: Out

A city was burning, burning, falling down around me. I was young again. There was a lot of shouting, crying. The city was familiar. Maybe it had been in one of my dreams before, maybe I had been there. A woman took my hand. She was also familiar but I couldn't place who she was. She was like me with white hair and pale eyes. She was very beautiful. She took my hand and pulled me away from the window that I had been looking out of. She crouched down on one knee beside me and wrapped a violet-coloured shawl around my shoulders. She said something to me but I couldn't hear what it was. She looked around suddenly, standing. A frightened look in her eye. She rushed to the window and seeing something, hurried out of the room, my hand still in hers. We ran through the house which had also started to burn. It was a big house. The woman stopped at the front door and looked around again, with the frightened look still in her eye. I looked around too, not sure what we were looking for. The woman went out the front door and pulled me along behind her as we ran down the footpath in the burning city. People were everywhere, some with water, other hurrying children behind them. Men who looked like soldiers stopped the woman in her path, stopping me also. They said something to her, to us, gesturing violently to me. Again I couldn't make out the words, like I wasn't actually there. The woman pulled me closer. She answered them back, wrapping her arms around me in a way of protection. I felt scared. I didn't know what was happening. One of the men pulled the woman off me, taking me from her arms. The soldier's arms weren't warm and protective like the woman's, but cold and armoured. I was picked up around the middle and hauled away. I kicked and screamed, trying to get loose of the soldier's grip but no matter how hard I wriggle and thrashed about, I couldn't escape. I could see the woman restrained by the soldiers, trying to reach me. I kicked and screamed harder, trying to get back to the woman. The soldier carrying me turned a corner and I looked back. The last thing I saw was the woman. She had slumped onto the ground, a sign of resignation. Her face looked tired, her eyes full of sadness and pain, as if she had lost her strength to fight. The last thing I noticed were the shiny wet trails of tears running down her face as she looked at me one more time. I didn't know why but I needed to get back to her.

The dream ended and I woke up. I was surprised to find that tears were running down my cheeks. My dream confused me. Why was everything in the dream so familiar? Like I had been there before. I sat up and looked around the room. A dim light shone out from behind the curtains, not quite making its way into the room. It was silent apart from the sound of Em's muffled breathing. It was peaceful. There was something about night time that comforted me. Maybe it was the fact I could see in the dark. Darkness provided a cover where I could feel safe, like I could hide away and nobody could find me. At night was the only time where I felt completely in control, like I could do anything, go anywhere, like I could conquer anything that came across my path. But once the sun came up in the morning, I went back to being the silent reclusive girl who didn't know where she belonged. Movement from the other side of the room brought me out of my thoughts. I realised I had pulled back the curtain and was looking outside. The moonlight was shining in. I was sure that it was brighter than it had been but it was probably just my imagination. I withdrew from the window and closed the curtain before the moonlight woke Em. I lay back down and closed my eyes.

At some point I fell asleep again because I woke up to sunlight in the morning.

I thought back to yesterday. I had noticed that Jay was quieter than normal at dinner.  I should tell him the truth, but I couldn't. I should tell Mr Carter as well, but I didn't know how.

I checked the time. 5.30. Breakfast was at six and our first activity started at seven. I went outside for a walk. I bumped into Mr Carter on my way around the ground.

"Good morning," he said, smiling. "What has you up and about at this hour of the morning?"

"I could ask you the same question," I joked, returning the smile. "I felt like getting some fresh air."

"Fair call," he said, continuing to walk. As he walked away, I felt an urge to tell him. I was sure he wouldn't react badly.

"Wait," I called. "Could I tell you something?"

He turned around, "Anything."

"And even if it's strange? Even if it might make you view me differently?"

"Anything," he said, without missing a beat. "You're my daughter."

"Follow me," I said, starting towards the forest. "I can't tell you here."

He looked curious but followed anyway. We walked through the first line of trees into a small clearing.

I checked around me to make sure no one else was around. I didn't know why I was being so careful. I was sure once Mr Carter found out, everyone would. I slid my jacket off my shoulders and it fell in a pile on the leaf-covered ground. My wings sat against my back. I slowly extended them until they were at their full length. I felt strangely naked, standing in front of the one person I didn't think I would show my wings to. Mr Carter circled me, his eyes wide in awe.

"They're spectacular," Mr Carter breathed. I couldn't help but feel proud.

Mr Carter faced me and looked straight at me. "Why have you kept these hidden? Your wings aren't something you should have to hide. They are something to be awed, to be shown off."

I smiled. That's what Em had said.

He bent over and picked up my jacket. I folded my wings back down.

"I don't think you need this," he said, smiling at me. He looked me up and down one more time and lent over to whisper in my ear. "I knew you were special the moment I found you."

A smile spread over my face. He turned and walked back towards camp. For the first time in my life, I followed him with my chin up, and my wings in view for everyone to see. I didn't need to hide them from anyone here. I had underestimated these people. I thought that they'd shun me for my difference but everyone here embraced it.

As I walked into camp, a few small thoughts still niggled at the back of my mind, where I had hidden them away so that I wouldn't stumble upon them. The thoughts that told me that I had made a bad decision...