Cupid's Soldier

Chapter 3

He's towering over me, looking at me like I'm a complete idiot. Which is probably due to the fact that my mouth is gaping open and closing hurriedly like some type of fish. The cart is rolling away, and I hurry to go and catch up to it, leaving him behind. Quickly, I take the cart outside and start taking the bags out of it.

I could've had a heart attack or a panic attack and he's just following behind me and judging me! From behind me, I hear a rumble of laughter escaping from his entrancing lips. I turn around to see him and my breath catches in my throat at the sight of him: His eyes are shut closed, his shoulders are shaking, his hair is falling all over his face. I've never seen him laugh before, but seeing him now, I wish he'd laugh like this more often. He grabs a couple bags from the cart, and he takes a couple from me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Looking up at him, I freeze, his brown eyes look so sincere.

"What do you want, Austen? And what are you doing here at this time of night?"

"I work here and my shift just ended; I saw that you were here and I just wanted to come over here so that I could thank you."

"For what?" I snap, exasperated. Is he just trying to bother me now? Does he like it when I'm annoyed with him?

"For answering my question on your blog. It was very helpful." I gasp, he asked me for help on my blog? Oh, he was probably the one asking for his sister. Thinking back on the question, it didn't sound like he was just trying to force the two together like I originally thought. Maybe I misjudged him... Still though he should've just asked the question on the blog in the first place! Why'd he go out of his way to annoy me at school?!

"Okay, you're welcome," I say calmly. "But honestly, you should've just asked the blog in the first place!" I snap, frustrated. Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair to get it out of my face. Anyways, I need to start walking back home now. So, bye." I try to snatch back the bags, but he doesn't let me take them. I raise an eyebrow at him expectantly.

Austen looks around the area and back at me, his eyes searching mine.

"I can give you a ride home." He says politely, he looks concerned for me. "It's really dark out and you have a lot of bags."

I'm really not sure that I want to be in a car alone with him, but I'm too tired to walk, and he seems to have the right intentions. Maybe it's because he's being very kind to me. Maybe it's the soft gleam in his eyes. Maybe it's the way he spoke. Maybe it's my own curiosity, but I accept his offer to take me home.

"Well, I guess you're right. Thank you, I'll take you up on that." I smile up at him and he just smiles back at me, his brown eyes sparkling. As we walk towards his car, I notice that it's a lot chillier than it was earlier. The sky is a bit darker and it seems as if there are more stars in the sky. It's beautiful. Although it's usually always cold outside at this time of night, anytime I can't sleep, I like to just sit outside. Nighttime is always so alluring to me. The dark never scared me, actually, I preferred it. Sometimes, when I was little, I used to act like the sun and the moon were people; I would say that the sun is definitely a selfish showoff, because it's so adamant on being the brightest, it's always alone. While the moon is kind, it shares the sky with millions of stars and it doesn't care if it's the brightest. I would explain that the reason why the night sky is so pretty is because of the moon.

I shiver, my jacket isn't really enough to keep me warm right now. When we finally reach his car I squeal, hopping up and down in excitement.

Austen chuckles lightly, and I smile. His laugh, I've noticed, can either be a terrifying rumble of thunder or a beautiful baritone song. I like his laugh. He unlocks the door and gets in, and I follow suit. He starts the car and looks at me expectantly. He raises his eyebrows expectantly.

"Where do you live?"

"Oh, um, 32 Willowwood Dr."

He looks down at me with a small smile and then he turns his head away from me, focuses on the road, and drives off. The whole car ride is basically just us silently giving each other looks from inside the car. I shuffle in my seat, not knowing what to say to break the awkward silence.

"Why'd you walk all the way from Willowwood to Kroger's? It's a pretty long walk from here."

"I don't know, I just needed to clear my head so I took a walk, and I ended up here. I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going."

Soft chuckles make their way into the car and they seem to speed up my heart with them.

"Sounds like something you'd do, Ms. Perfect."

I'm anything but perfect. There are so many things that I've had to overcome in my life. So many things I've seen that have made life seem cruel and relentless. I'm not perfect; I'm broken, and I'd rather not be falsely accused of being something so irrelevant to society; since no one is perfect.

"Please, don't call me that."

A part of my life that I left locked in the depths of my head feels like it's being forced open again by a wire cutter. He's getting under every inch of my skin.

"Why not? You're literally perfect."

I don't answer.

"Okay, look, I'm sorry. I won't call you that again, I promise."

I sigh, but continue ignoring him. We don't speak for the rest of the ride.

"Thank you," I mumble, quietly as his car stops at my house. I grab the bags out of the backseat, and slam his door shut, stomping home. Maybe, just maybe, he's not the only one who's got problems.I definitely do too. I unlock the door and step inside, closing my door slowly and quietly.

He's not the only angry person here. I can be pretty aggressive too. Quietly, I make my way up the stairs, wishing I could just stomp my feet. Anyone can tell that Austen's hurting, that's why he lashes out at people. But he isn't the only one hurting. I open my bedroom door and close my door shut.

He isn't the only one who's lonely. I really shouldn't be judging him so harshly, because I'm so closed off too, but he's so blissfully unaware of other people's problems. He called me 'Ms. Perfect' but there's nothing perfect about me. I'm human after all. My mother barely speaks anymore. My father isn't here, and it just so happens to be all my fault that he's gone.

I throw myself onto my bed and sob into my pillow for the rest of my night. I forget about my homework. I forget about my responsibilities. I just cry myself to sleep, just thinking about how much of a fuck up I am.

When I wake up the next morning, my eyes are bloodshot red. My light pink room feels too bright, and I certainly don't feel like going to school and dealing with Austen or anyone. I don't feel like helping anybody, I'm feeling particularly selfish this morning. But, I have no right, it's my fault that my dad is gone. It's my fault that my mom is miserable. It's because of my own selfishness that my own father is gone. So, instead of moping, I get off my bed and I look at my light pink wall. I wiggle my toes on my soft white carpet, and I make my way to the bathroom to shower. Today, I'm not going to be selfish. Today, I'm going to pretend to be a fierce little cupid, defending love for everyone who needs my help and answering every single question that comes my way. I have to.