Cupid's Soldier

Chapter 5

It's Sunday morning, and if my dad were still here, we'd be getting ready for church. My dad was never a big fan of church, but my mom would talk him into going. She had this spunk in her, this fire, and whenever dad was around she just got even more sassy and strong-willed. After he left, though, that fire inside her was doused in freezing water and that water puddles around her still till this day.

She has trouble going to sleep now, and when she does fall asleep, she's screaming for Dad to come back in her sleep. She never even has the strength to wake up in the morning anymore, not even for church.

Every Sunday morning she'll wake up at around 10:30, and she'll start rushing to get ready, but by the time she's done getting dressed, it's always way too late. Our church starts at 10:45 and it's about a fifteen minute drive from home.

This morning is going to be very different, though, I'm going to wake her up early enough to get dressed. I know she misses church. She deserves to have some type of happiness again, and hopefully, the church will give it to her. So, I jumped out of bed at 9:00, determined to make my mother smile for the first time since dad left. Sometimes, I think that Mom knows why Dad left, which is why I refuse to tell her that he's back. Instead, we need to show him that we're doing just fine without him. We need to be strong. For once, we're going to fight.

Taking steps into the hallway, my bare feet hitting the cold hardwood floor, I sigh. Waking her up is going to be emotionally exhausting, but it'll be worth it.

Soft snores escape from her room, my mothers room used to look so different from the way it does now. It used to be so alive; Dad's stuff used to be thrown around everywhere, but now, the only thing in her room are clothes and jewelry she hasn't wanted to use in years. Now, the room is lonely and sad. Her soft carpet has a grey tint to it and her bright red walls have dimmed in color. Her queen sized bed seems too big for just one person, and I hate how lonely she must feel now that he left.

Every picture of my dad was either turned around so she couldn't see them; or they were removed from the walls. Dad used to remind her of how beautiful she was everyday, and now there aren't even any mirrors in her room.

My mom's black hair is spilled all over her pillows. Her usually tan skin looks pale and sickly. Walking closer to her bed, I feel like crying. Even in her sleep she looks sad, hugging her blanket like she's afraid it'll leave her.

Shaking away those depressing thoughts, I place my hands on her shoulders, and nudge her lightly.

"Mommy, wake up." I say quietly. "It's time for church."

She groans softly and opens her eyes. She looks at me with glassy, heartbreaking blue eyes, and I try not to tear up with her.

"Get ready for church, Mommy." I murmur quietly and gulp. Letting go of her shoulders and walking out of her door.

I walk back into the hallway, and make my way to the bathroom to freshen up, hoping that maybe waking her up wasn't a bad idea.

*~~~~~*

After brushing my teeth and taking a very quick shower, I head to my closet and pick out a really nice dress: a light pink sundress that stops a bit above my knees.

I don't want to be too dressed up, though, so I put on a pair of foldable black flats. I hear my mom's shower running and I decide to go down stairs and wait till she's ready. I walk down the stairs and into our empty living room.

Sliding into the kitchen, I start brewing some coffee. My mom and I have similar tastes in foods and drinks: we both like our coffee black with three sugars.

I sit down at the kitchen table and wait till the coffee's done, hearing my mom's light footsteps heading down the stairs. I smile, maybe we can finally be a normal family. Just the two of us.

The coffee maker beeps, signaling that it's finished, and I go to make my mom and I a cup. When I turn around, my mom's sitting at the table so I pass her a cup.

"Here mommy, drink up, we have to leave soon."

Taking a sip of my coffee, I let the hot liquid burn down my throat, warming me up and making me feel refreshed and awake.

"Thank you, baby girl, I love you."

Although, I already know she still loves me, she told me in her sleep sometimes, it was so refreshing to hear those three words without her being half asleep. I smile as I stare at her, my eyes filling with unshed tears.

"I love you too." I say as a tear falls from my eye and runs down my cheek, I wipe away the tear. My dad ruined this family and now we're finally getting better. We're finally fixing things.

"Come on, we need to leave, it's 9:30."

So, we head out, and on the ride there we laugh and we smile together. We might be heartbroken, but we're together and that's all that matters.

The pastor preached about compassion and loyalty. He talked about how this generation lacks the compassion we need as a human race. He told us not to let the devil tempt us to be rude and judgmental toward others.

He talked about how a lot of churches and priests have been lacking compassion towards groups of people just because they don't agree with what they believe in and who they're attracted to and how that isn't what God wanted from us.

Mom was crying in the pew, maybe it was because of how much she missed the church, or because of how touched she was by his sermon. We both learned something from the lesson today. I learned that I shouldn't judge Austen so much, it isn't my job and I could be wrong about him, God knows better than I do.

When we got back inside the car, my mom grabbed my hand.

"The pastor was right, I spent all of this time judging your father and wishing that he was the same man that loved me. I spent all of this time hating him. It's time that I get a better job and move on with my life, sweetheart."

I smile, relief hugging me like a warm friend and I throw myself on my mom. We hold each other for a while, crying all the while. Who knows if she'll really do it or not but it's the thought that counts and I'm so glad that she's at least in a better state of mind for the day.

"I love you so much mommy!"

"I love you too," she says sniffling. "So much."

A few tears of my own fall and I can't help but hope that nothing will ever ruin this.